dav3800

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dav3800

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11277
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dav3800's page activity

Visits<b>Grazelent_90</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 11:07am<b>junjunbun</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 10:39am<b>thatguy3812</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 2:59am<b>kayposion</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 3:08am<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 4:39pm<b>Nubbington1402</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 3:21pm<b>Kitten_love</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 10:28pm<b>Cavenyanson</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 11:25am<b>the_fanciest_man</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 9:50am<b>whenitdidhappen</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 6:33pm<b>guskta</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:21pm<b>tshurtz722</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:12am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 11:20am<b>Linksavestheday</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 4:37pm<b>boomboom838</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 8:12pm<b>J352SAURUS</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 4:27am<b>seninaa</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 1:57pm<b>poolguy69</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 10:35pm

Fucked!<b>junjunbun</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 4:39pm

dav3800's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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dav3800's favorite FMLs

Today, I found my diary on my mother's nightstand. Bookmarked. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 1:07am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed and I asked him why he was with me. His answer was, "Well, the last girl I dated was really smart and she always made me feel dumb, so I decided to switch things up a bit. You make me feel like a genius babe." FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 12:33am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

by Saradee / 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2012 at 10:02am / Australia / Kids

Today, I told my husband to tell me his wildest fantasy. He told me it was to put on fake antlers and "do it like deer". FML

by Kasey Eames / 12/23/2012 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my son and his friend comparing their penis sizes. They're 6. FML

by oh my son / 12/23/2012 at 1:02am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received my soccer team jacket that I ordered a month ago. Trying to save money, I'd selected the "no name" option to avoid an extra $20 embroidering fee. My jacket now has "NO NAME" spelled out on the side of it, and I was charged the extra $20 dollars after all. FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2012 at 12:01am / Canada / Money

Today, a guy professed his love for me in front of my friends. The guy is my first cousin. FML

by Brittany / 12/22/2012 at 9:33pm / United States / Love

Today, I confronted my 18-year-old daughter about her excessively lengthy showers. She said she didn't see the big deal, considering the water "comes free with the house." No dear, it doesn't. FML

by Jane / 12/22/2012 at 6:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML

by orgasmicriding / 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Transportation

Today, it was my first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes and vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They are still laughing. FML

by divingconfidence / 12/22/2012 at 6:21am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, my co-worker had a bad cold that stuffed up his ears and nose. This wouldn't have been a problem, except that he believed his farts were silent and scentless. They were so vile, they could have killed a horse. FML

by Iknoweverything / 12/22/2012 at 3:06am / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, while at the airport waiting for my flight, I sat down next to a mother and her son. As I pulled out a water bottle, she leaned over to her son and said, "Promise me you will never do what the man next to you just did." I have no idea what the hell I did wrong. FML

Today, I hid my weed stash in a bag from an expensive jewellery store. My sister walked into my room, went "Ooh, what's this?" and grabbed the bag. I grabbed it back and ad-libbed that it was her Christmas gift. Now I actually have to buy her expensive jewellery. FML

by junkie / 12/18/2012 at 1:28pm / Belgium (Antwerpen) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML

by fatbabysyndrome / 12/18/2012 at 12:33pm / United States (Florida) / Kids