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Today, my psychiatrist asked me if I felt bad about my weight. When I said no, he looked surprised and said, "Why not?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20631) - you deserved it (3871)
On 06/14/2012 at 7:26am - misc - by ouch - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21488) - you deserved it (5714)
On 06/13/2012 at 10:21pm - intimacy - by biggieT - Sri Lanka (Western)
Today, I was chatting to a co-worker, upon whom I have a serious crush. It was going really well, until he said "irregardless", as if it's actually a proper word. This grammatical abomination really ticks me off, and I actually had to fight back the urge to beat some damn sense into him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8098) - you deserved it (20874)
On 06/13/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Rebecca (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18522) - you deserved it (10987)
On 06/13/2012 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I was cashiering, and a customer's change came to $5.51. She looked pretty stinking rich, so I just gave her $5.50. She demanded the extra penny, and I asked if she really needed it. She said, "No, but they do, asshole," and dropped her $5.51 in the charity donation box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6363) - you deserved it (90785)
On 06/13/2012 at 12:00pm - money - by ouch - United States (Florida)
Today, I fell asleep on the bus. When I woke up, my head was resting on the broad, tanned shoulder of the smoking hot guy sitting next to me. I had drooled a little. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18114) - you deserved it (552)
On 06/13/2012 at 5:08am - misc - by pandora (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)
Today, I woke up to a guy outside my house, who wanted to give me flowers and take me out on a date. Aside from it all being pretty fucking creepy anyway, the guy is my not quite right in the head second cousin, who's apparently now head-over-heels in love with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18841) - you deserved it (1312)
On 06/12/2012 at 8:24pm - love - by Az (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I proudly told my elitist dad that I now have a beautiful girlfriend. He didn't believe me, so I showed him her Facebook. He demanded that I stop seeing her, saying that the duck-facing in her avatar was the hallmark of "a lower form of being" who would only ever shame our family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8216) - you deserved it (17872)
On 06/12/2012 at 7:39pm - love - by idontgetit (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my boyfriend brought up the time he said he'd love me until the day he died. He continued by saying, "So, let's just pretend I died today." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22066) - you deserved it (1392)
On 06/12/2012 at 1:29am - health - by fmmmmlll (woman) - United States
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18877) - you deserved it (2423)
On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I was telling my best friend that I was feeling unattractive, and that I never get asked out. As she was trying to make me feel better, we were interrupted by a stranger trying to hit on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19889) - you deserved it (2193)
On 06/11/2012 at 8:01am - love - by ugly (woman) - Australia
Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking at the animals during the break, an elephant took my purse with his trunk and ate it. It crushed my cellphone, camera, keys and wallet. After that, the circus director yelled at me for feeding poisonous stuff to his elephant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22591) - you deserved it (4124)
On 06/11/2012 at 3:14am - animals - by ILoveAnimals (woman) - Austria (Wien)
Today, I confronted my husband over the fact that despite me working two jobs to support us for the last three years, we're nowhere near our goal of buying a house. He actually had the brass balls to defend pissing my money down the drain on his ceramic cat collection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16993) - you deserved it (4009)
On 06/10/2012 at 2:11pm - money - by Catherine (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents at her sister's play. The moment I introduced myself, I realized that her father was my probation officer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24766) - you deserved it (13486)
On 06/10/2012 at 5:16am - love - by fernie vazquez - United States (California)
Today, while at my cosmetics job, an elderly lady came up to me asking for a product. I told her we had a smaller size and a larger size for a better deal. She told me she wanted the smaller size because she'd "probably be dead" before she finished that one. I laughed. She was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18037) - you deserved it (3346)
On 06/10/2012 at 4:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Monday 17 June 2013
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