About datgamerchick : Jess. Sarcastic Grammar Nazi. That's all you need to know, so you can exit my profile now.
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Today, I was awoken by my wife, once again. It seems that whenever I stop snoring, she thinks I died so she has to wake me to make sure I'm still living. She does this almost every night, every hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18622) - you deserved it (2443)
On 12/25/2011 at 12:27am - health - by Sleep Deprived (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21008) - you deserved it (4366)
On 12/23/2011 at 3:43am - misc - by cj123 - United States (Arizona)
Today, I went to eat the orange I'd brought to work, but couldn't find it. After minutes searching, I found it. Nailed to the ceiling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19806) - you deserved it (1771)
On 12/15/2011 at 1:57am - work - by Username - United States (California)
Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17581) - you deserved it (5511)
On 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm - health - by brownunderwear - United States (Washington)
Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8558) - you deserved it (66089)
On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States
Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5890) - you deserved it (52582)
On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5890) - you deserved it (52582)
On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I was helping first-graders do school work when one of them stabbed me in the face with a pencil, all because I told her that a three was backwards. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21919) - you deserved it (2276)
On 11/30/2011 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my fiancé insists that instead of kissing at the crucial moment of our wedding ceremony, we should give each other a high five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32942) - you deserved it (4315)
On 11/30/2011 at 6:17am - love - by no low five (woman) - United States
Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28755) - you deserved it (4077)
On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I'm spending time with my granny, with whom I'm supposed to live with for a few weeks. I've noticed that she repeats the last word of every sentence I say, and now I'm wondering how it's possible for me to now be so horrible that I want to punch a sweet 92-year-old lady in the head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17655) - you deserved it (3671)
On 11/29/2011 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I'm spending time with my granny, with whom I'm supposed to live with for a few weeks. I've noticed that she repeats the last word of every sentence I say, and now I'm wondering how it's possible for me to now be so horrible that I want to punch a sweet 92-year-old lady in the head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17655) - you deserved it (3671)
On 11/29/2011 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35998) - you deserved it (3751)
On 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to a nursing home to sing Christmas carols to the elderly. They threw their bananas at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20601) - you deserved it (4372)
On 11/29/2011 at 7:42am - work - by robincakes94 - United States
Today, my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile, fighting back tears. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56585) - you deserved it (2319)
On 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm - love - by notsohappilyeverafter - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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