About datgamerchick : Jess. Sarcastic Grammar Nazi. That's all you need to know, so you can exit my profile now.
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I agree, your life sucks (29316) - you deserved it (6975)
On 07/05/2012 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, as I was getting ready to go to the midnight premiere of the new Spiderman movie, I was actually bitten by a spider. He gets super powers and a hot girl, I swell up like a balloon and get to spend the night in the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20681) - you deserved it (1408)
On 07/03/2012 at 4:03am - misc - by spiderfail - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24892) - you deserved it (3451)
Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. In an ambulance. On the way to the hospital after being T-boned at an intersection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28963) - you deserved it (1139)
Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20592) - you deserved it (3333)
On 06/30/2012 at 2:49am - animals - by BloodFaerie (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14828) - you deserved it (2377)
On 06/28/2012 at 7:44pm - misc - by zombieguyswife (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17561) - you deserved it (2456)
On 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was out to coffee with an extremely attractive friend. A crazy man came up to the window we were facing. He took one look at her, then turned to me with a big, congratulatory smile, flashing me a thumbs-up. Then he turned to her, frowned disappointedly and gave a thumbs-down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16761) - you deserved it (1327)
On 06/14/2012 at 4:11am - misc - by offended (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9800) - you deserved it (15685)
On 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm - misc - by ww2freak - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was having a debate with my friend, who actually believes karma is real. He got very angry with me and stormed off, tripping over his own feet in the process. I laughed and asked what he'd done in a past life to deserve that one. He responded by getting up and punching me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7448) - you deserved it (29246)
On 06/07/2012 at 5:26pm - health - by sh3n-D (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)
Today, a man on the bus questioned my sexuality for being a male nurse. I asked him what he did and he said he worked in a garage. When I pointed out that I work with sexy nurses all day and he works with sweaty guys, he punched me in the stomach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29538) - you deserved it (5142)
Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17495) - you deserved it (2469)
On 06/05/2012 at 9:19pm - love - by whyme27 (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I approached a cute girl at a club, when she started barking at me like a rabid dog. Thinking she might be mentally unhinged, I left, only to see the same girl laughing her ass off with her friends minutes later. When I went back over, her friends started barking at me too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18466) - you deserved it (4271)
On 06/05/2012 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)
Today, in a parking lot, a girl came up to our car and started to knock on the window and scream, "I KNEW IT!" My girlfriend doesn't believe that I don't know her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21710) - you deserved it (1451)
On 06/03/2012 at 11:20am - misc - by Apissedoffguy - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, if you live in California, you might have seen a crazy drunk guy naked in front of a McDonald's, waving at everyone. Yeah, that was probably me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6054) - you deserved it (20069)
On 05/13/2012 at 6:30pm - misc - by smh (man) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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