About datgamerchick : Jess. Sarcastic Grammar Nazi. That's all you need to know, so you can exit my profile now.
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Today, there was a guy following me, so to avoid him, I crouched down and basically waddled behind a wall to get past him. Sure enough, first thing I see when I get around the corner, while still waddling, was an unhappy midget couple staring right at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20321) - you deserved it (3766)
On 10/03/2011 at 8:37am - misc - by Mike Polk - United States
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29990) - you deserved it (3009)
On 10/03/2011 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Kayt (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I had a car accident. In the same place, at the same time, and with the same friend in the passenger seat as last week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17024) - you deserved it (7657)
On 09/30/2011 at 6:18am - misc - by Steve (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16119) - you deserved it (32344)
On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)
Today, my mom called me a bastard, told me I should run away, and said I don't deserve to live in her house. All because I didn't use a plate when I ate a Poptart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23318) - you deserved it (2768)
On 09/25/2011 at 7:23pm - misc - by sadkid - United States
Today, I had a science test. A question asked, "What is the first stage of photosynthesis?" I didn't know, so just trying to be light-hearted, I wrote, "The plant must first believe in itself." My teacher didn't think it was funny, and gave me detention for insulting her intelligence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18384) - you deserved it (10526)
On 09/22/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was expecting my period. To avoid the embarrassment of everyone in the office finding out, instead of putting tampons in my bag, I hid one in my bra. It fell out while I was coming back from lunch. I am now known to all as "The Tampon Dispenser". FML
I agree, your life sucks (10053) - you deserved it (21224)
On 09/22/2011 at 9:55am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my wife told me the main reason she married me is because I have a cool last name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26323) - you deserved it (3023)
On 09/21/2011 at 2:39pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, while at work, after reading more than 100 FMLs and moderating more than 500, I decided to write one of my own with the help of my boss, who had been standing next to me for over an hour. "How about being fired?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (7986) - you deserved it (37203)
On 09/21/2011 at 2:47am - work - by f_ck_U (man) - China (Zhejiang)
Today, my family came to see me in my first acting role in Romeo and Juliet. It all went reasonably well for the first half hour or so, after which my seemingly shitfaced aunt started heckling and saying "that's what she said" after every line, before eventually being thrown out by security. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19070) - you deserved it (1672)
On 09/16/2011 at 8:25pm - work - by Mandy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was brutally run over by a man in a wheelchair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18441) - you deserved it (2555)
On 09/16/2011 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to hold hands with plastic "horror hand" I bought for Halloween. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17801) - you deserved it (6037)
On 09/13/2011 at 2:11am - love - by Penkkis (woman) - Finland (Lapland)
Today, I apologized to the cat for walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17733) - you deserved it (6815)
On 09/13/2011 at 2:05am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I met an old friend from high school and his hot girlfriend. I jokingly said she must be blind to go out with him. His response: "Yeah, she is." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15555) - you deserved it (22990)
On 09/12/2011 at 3:25pm - misc - by aru9 - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71624) - you deserved it (9139)
On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Monday 20 May 2013
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