About datgamerchick : Jess. Sarcastic Grammar Nazi. That's all you need to know, so you can exit my profile now.
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Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25562) - you deserved it (6801)
On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia
Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29389) - you deserved it (2145)
On 01/09/2013 at 10:15pm - love - by wtf dad - United States (Missouri)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37477) - you deserved it (6430)
On 12/24/2012 at 8:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I noticed one of my neighbors has decided to place an old toilet in the middle of their front lawn. Another one has had a kitchen sink in their driveway for a year, and yet another has a sofa in their grass. These are the people who taunt me for just walking my cat outside on a leash. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19699) - you deserved it (6905)
On 12/19/2012 at 12:02am - misc - by SApprentice (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37852) - you deserved it (388)
On 12/18/2012 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I smiled at a new kid and started a conversation with him, just to be nice. He later sent me 24 messages describing how strong his love for me is. I'm scared to go to school tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23212) - you deserved it (2278)
On 12/11/2012 at 3:39am - love - by you're just creepy. - Canada (Yukon Territory)
Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19362) - you deserved it (4301)
On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)
Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19102) - you deserved it (4159)
On 12/10/2012 at 12:10am - money - by hailey - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was rejected for a dream photography job that involves travelling all over the world, because according to the interviewer, half the photos in my nature portfolio were "blatantly photoshopped." I guess reality isn't realistic enough for some people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18264) - you deserved it (1014)
On 11/23/2012 at 8:29pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5160) - you deserved it (19229)
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18501) - you deserved it (2540)
On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25585) - you deserved it (1537)
On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)
Today, I came home from college to find my favorite silk nightie that I had left behind being modeled by Bernie, the family dog. Nobody will admit to who put it on him. I don't know what's worse, that my family is a bunch of assholes, or that my nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14464) - you deserved it (2285)
On 10/23/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by nicedoggy (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21053) - you deserved it (2392)
On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, I told my daughter that she won't be going to her homecoming dance as punishment for her terrible grades. She's been crying and singing "If I Die Young" in her room for hours. At this point, I don't know if I need to call a therapist or a vocal coach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19425) - you deserved it (6717)
On 10/15/2012 at 12:07am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Friday 24 May 2013
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