Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

darkmis1

Offline (the 03/04/2014 at 7:13pm) | Search for a member

darkmis1

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 9 February 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 127450
  • Number of comments : 2399
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 55 posted

About darkmis1 : There is nothing better than a friend, unless it's a friend with chocolate. ~Charles Dickens

darkmis1's page activity

Visits<b>CaseyOfAsgard</b> - one hour ago<b>kimCandycotton</b> - 6 hours ago<b>angieydg</b> - 10 hours ago<b>brittanynico</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 1:05pm<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 12:22am<b>peceout</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 5:32am<b>bakedbeanz69</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 9:19pm<b>KristenLovecraft</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 4:51pm<b>Vball6</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 3:13pm<b>derpina72</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 11:24pm<b>Smellyy</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 9:07am<b>DerpMcHerp</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 6:28pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 5:23pm<b>sheshellbent</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 7:52am<b>Emmamazing</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 4:40pm<b>Phaeno</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 12:12am<b>ragingatheist</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 2:55pm<b>thefmlstarfruit</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 10:44am

darkmis1's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of darkmis1's badges

darkmis1's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML

#18772275
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13571) - you deserved it (32030)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by bunnyluver4545 - United States (Texas)

Today, a friend told me over MSN that her father had died. Trying to express some solidarity, I went to send her a tearful smiley. I accidentally sent her the dancing pig animation instead. FML

#18644636
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17504) - you deserved it (27079) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/29/2011 at 2:32pm - misc - by Kevin - France

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years felt comfortable enough with me to disclose that he had previously spent 4 years in a mental institute because he tried to kill his mother. He also told me we will be together forever. I'm scared. FML

#18005142
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51719) - you deserved it (4787)

On 10/17/2011 at 6:02am - love - by bubba - China

Today, I'd just finished feeding my parrot and sweeping all the seeds under the cage. As I was walking away, my parrot whistled. I turned around to see him get up onto the food dish, pick up a clawful of food and toss it on the floor. FML

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
404 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30205) - you deserved it (5659)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

#17391065
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35050) - you deserved it (10004)

On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53242) - you deserved it (3275)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

#17301663
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33596) - you deserved it (3654)

On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

#17182524
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34159) - you deserved it (7154)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a letter back from the family I will be staying with as a part of an exchange program. Apparently they own a slaughterhouse type farm, and I'm expected to kill one of their animals and eat it as a gift from the family. I'm a vegan. FML

#15927164
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36533) - you deserved it (17431)

On 04/25/2011 at 10:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I dreamed that I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML

#15912541
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31084) - you deserved it (11511)

On 04/24/2011 at 9:10pm - misc - by woahitbechels - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while skiing on Mammoth Mountain, a man dressed in an Easter Bunny costume snowboarded into me and sent me flying. Not only did he hurt my wrist, he also threw an Easter egg at me, yelled "Happy Easter", and snowboarded away. FML

#15911784
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23638) - you deserved it (3766)

On 04/24/2011 at 7:49pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I finally started my job as an in-home caregiver. The man I was hired to care for died two hours after I made it to his house. FML

#15834810
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41368) - you deserved it (3429)

On 04/18/2011 at 3:24pm - work - by nurseITHINKNOT - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I decided to improve my posture by sitting through all of my classes with my shoulders and back completely straight. Pretty soon I couldn't move my shoulders at all. I had to go to the chiropractor. It turns out that in trying to improve my posture, I misaligned my spine instead. FML

#15229929
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27976) - you deserved it (5972)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:39pm - health - by Less (woman) - Reserved

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

#14968643
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46778) - you deserved it (9267)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: