Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

darkmis1

Offline (the 03/04/2014 at 7:13pm) | Search for a member

darkmis1

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 9 February 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 127288
  • Number of comments : 2399
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 55 posted

About darkmis1 : There is nothing better than a friend, unless it's a friend with chocolate. ~Charles Dickens

darkmis1's page activity

Visits<b>rocker_chick23</b> - 15 hours ago<b>Jose2018</b> - 16 hours ago<b>MarcoLoco</b> - 17 hours ago<b>YouMadBra</b> - yesterday at 1:32pm<b>neilykins</b> - yesterday at 11:56pm<b>Hellraiser2083</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 11:51pm<b>robbyq</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 1:03am<b>Mads_1234</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 2:04pm<b>Zaros</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 9:48am<b>bumblebee46</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 10:39pm<b>bas504</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 6:05pm<b>abattior</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 8:52pm<b>julianbozikovic</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 8:36pm<b>Eluddha</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 10:57pm<b>Airstorm90</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 10:04pm<b>snowboardflips</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 9:45pm<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 6:46am<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 4:21am

darkmis1's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of darkmis1's badges

darkmis1's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving my 9 month pregnant sister around in our golf cart and it died. I had to push it the rest of the way home. She wouldn't stop faking going into labor. FML

#20477938
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29491) - you deserved it (3894)

On 01/25/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by really?!? - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up following one of the worst nightmares of my life. I was sweating, clutching the sheets, and feeling sick to the stomach. I'd been dreaming of my wedding that's taking place next week. FML

#20468290
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29629) - you deserved it (6495)

On 01/19/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, my girlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family. Instead of a happy reunion, I was terribly emasculated, publicly, for bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML

#20458802
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32066) - you deserved it (3177)

On 01/14/2013 at 10:47am - misc - by badenoughflowers - United States (Texas)

Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work at a middle school. I've worked here for the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough for my own coworkers to recognize me. FML

#20454196
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35695) - you deserved it (2767)

On 01/11/2013 at 8:11pm - work - by Can'tAgeOrMakeFriends (woman) - United States

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34187) - you deserved it (2763)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dog died. We planned to get her cremated and keep the ashes. My sister put forward the idea of putting the ashes in our food so our dog can be "inside of us, always." She's completely serious. I'm scared to eat food from her now. FML

#20438971
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32813) - you deserved it (2085)

On 01/02/2013 at 4:53pm - animals - by Anon. -

Today, I ran into my sister, who nobody in the family has seen in six years. She looked very happy working the pole. FML

#20179890
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29458) - you deserved it (3386)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:54pm - misc - by Teddy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression and then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML

#20176506
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21839) - you deserved it (2164)

On 11/24/2012 at 11:35am - misc - by lobstercola - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML

#20164794
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23825) - you deserved it (2770)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by needanewride - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

#20151986
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19567) - you deserved it (6368)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I met someone really cool and their departing words were, for some odd reason, "We should totally be friends, I mean unless you're schizophrenic or something, haha!" I have schizophrenia. FML

#20140639
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25143) - you deserved it (1933)

On 10/30/2012 at 7:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34621) - you deserved it (4736)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30713) - you deserved it (2593)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML

#19158359
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30247) - you deserved it (2381)

On 02/25/2012 at 1:33am - misc - by BadGuyLuck (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had just finished an elaborate charcoal drawing as part of a college application that took a good week. When I read over the requirements, I found out it needed to be done in graphite pencil. FML

#19054898
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14038) - you deserved it (32621)

On 02/12/2012 at 5:36am - misc - by Lameartist -



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: