darkestbarbie

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Offline (the 09/20/2014 at 1:21am)

darkestbarbie

8Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1496
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About darkestbarbie : My name is Emily, I live in Kennesaw, Ga. I am 23 years old. I love talking to people so message me.

darkestbarbie's page activity

Visits<b>TrebleMajor</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 12:32pm<b>imeanyeahok</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 9:10pm<b>XRayXLopez1</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 2:01pm<b>Crystayala</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 10:17pm<b>gunner1579</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 5:14pm<b>FoxOne</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 5:09am<b>TacoMan32</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 5:57pm<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 5:29pm<b>ShayyE</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 3:33am<b>cats4lyfe</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 2:27am<b>pikatopia</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 12:46am<b>BloodyElegant</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 1:41am<b>rivaraven</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 6:58am<b>leJar</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 8:06am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 10:43pm<b>Cyrena4343</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 9:49am<b>player20270</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 8:33pm<b>idance22</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 7:04pm

Fucked!<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 11:29pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 4:43am<b>iwillreapyou</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 8:02pm<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 5:12am<b>sammie2new</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 5:57am<b>cdncw</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 8:10pm<b>doc1220</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 12:13pm<b>Paws_Cat</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 4:08am

darkestbarbie's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of darkestbarbie's badges

darkestbarbie's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally ran a stop sign. It wouldn't have been so bad if the stop sign hadn't been in a traffic cop's hands. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 12:21pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation

Today, out of partying reflex, I downed Communion wine like a vodka shot. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 6:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

by RedWaters / 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

by NewlyDread / 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

by hopelessteej / 01/28/2013 at 8:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was fired for actively seeking employment with another company. Because of having just been fired, the other company will no longer give me the time of day. FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2012 at 4:13pm / United States / Work

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

by Amberain / 08/16/2012 at 11:16am / United Kingdom (Halton) / Love

Today, after my boyfriend broke up with me, the only thing positive about my day was a pregnancy test. FML

by rawr_fml001 / 05/11/2012 at 7:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

by Anonymous / 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I took a pregnancy test. I waited the longest two minutes of my life just to realize I missed the stick. FML

by darkestbarbie / 04/05/2012 at 3:01pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile, fighting back tears. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. FML

by notsohappilyeverafter / 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

by MakeMeASandwich / 06/10/2011 at 1:01am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2011 at 10:04am / United States / Intimacy