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darkestbarbie

Offline (the 09/20/2014 at 1:21am) | Search for a member

darkestbarbie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1102
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About darkestbarbie : My name is Emily, I live in Kennesaw, Ga. I am 23 years old. I love talking to people so message me.

darkestbarbie's page activity

Visits<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 9:23pm<b>ark44</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 7:53am<b>poppypoptarts</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 9:12pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 9:13pm<b>14huberzb</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 10:59pm<b>IzzyInWonderland</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 2:53pm<b>Lumen94</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 10:46pm<b>SaucyDoe</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 12:00am<b>solonglonesome</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 9:51pm<b>Caylee_G</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 8:11pm<b>minauto</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 7:31am<b>beyoncevevo</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 10:06pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 1:12am<b>MrDante</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 5:54pm<b>MissyPants</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 8:35pm<b>yesIAmAnAsshole</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 7:35pm<b>oracle96</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 5:05pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 2:18am

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darkestbarbie's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally ran a stop sign. It wouldn't have been so bad if the stop sign hadn't been in a traffic cop's hands. FML

#20836993
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21392) - you deserved it (42846)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, out of partying reflex, I downed Communion wine like a vodka shot. FML

#20830409
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22793) - you deserved it (44110)

On 08/10/2013 at 6:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63340) - you deserved it (14426)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

#20533607
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55821) - you deserved it (14650)

On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

#20494997
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34587) - you deserved it (6693)

On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

#20482822
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29299) - you deserved it (3616)

On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was fired for actively seeking employment with another company. Because of having just been fired, the other company will no longer give me the time of day. FML

#20132895
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19073) - you deserved it (3945)

On 10/25/2012 at 4:13pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

#20024327
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23959) - you deserved it (6206)

On 08/16/2012 at 11:16am - love - by Amberain (woman) - United Kingdom (Halton)

Today, after my boyfriend broke up with me, the only thing positive about my day was a pregnancy test. FML

#19608696
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35808) - you deserved it (6133)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by rawr_fml001 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

#19603084
411 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57413) - you deserved it (3106)

On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
583 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13355) - you deserved it (54620) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I took a pregnancy test. I waited the longest two minutes of my life just to realize I missed the stick. FML

#19412474
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8773) - you deserved it (25454)

On 04/05/2012 at 3:01pm - misc - by darkestbarbie - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile, fighting back tears. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. FML

#18358033
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66660) - you deserved it (3231)

On 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm - love - by notsohappilyeverafter - United States (California)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50327) - you deserved it (7818)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

#16399874
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60206) - you deserved it (12591)

On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



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