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darcloki32

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darcloki32

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 902
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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darcloki32's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:11pm<b>elsng</b> - the 12/18/2009 at 11:23am

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darcloki32's favorite FMLs

Today, after staying up all night at my friend's house, I woke up to something I couldn't identify on my cheek, so I slapped it away. When I heard crying, I opened my eyes and realized it was my friend's three year old sister who was trying to be sweet by kissing me on the cheek. FML

#14577933
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31289) - you deserved it (14636)

On 01/14/2011 at 1:22pm - misc - by ash (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was "I farted". Well, at least they all laughed. FML

#14211006
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29342) - you deserved it (8002)

On 12/15/2010 at 6:57am - work - by Mike -

Today, I was awakened, in the middle of the night, by the sound of crying coming from outside. There's a mile in between houses where I live. FML

#8546580
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28386) - you deserved it (2199)

On 02/22/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by holycow (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was skiing in Vermont for the third day straight. Since I was getting very little sleep, on the top of the chairlift I let out a huge yawn, pulling a muscle in my face. As I slid down the ramp, everyone saw me thrashing my head around and making funny, painful faces as I fell down. FML

#8292410
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18368) - you deserved it (4234)

On 02/15/2010 at 8:35am - misc - by Floof (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was awoken at 1:30am by a strange noise, and something tugging on my hair. I opened my eyes, to find a very large rat sitting on my pillow, chewing my hair. FML

#7231229
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44281) - you deserved it (2958)

On 01/09/2010 at 3:40am - misc - by Fran (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over me and the wall. FML

#6884813
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8151) - you deserved it (41650)

On 12/22/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by funyfunkid (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, during a review session for a botany class, I began to space out. Then, I started to go, "beep, beep, beep, beep." I stopped when I noticed the entire class staring at me as if I were insane. This was not the first time this had happened. FML

#6691073
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8045) - you deserved it (31625)

On 12/10/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a party where I ate bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML

#6298765
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18989) - you deserved it (32757)

On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87788) - you deserved it (14676)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, during gym class, my teacher insisted that everyone should relieve some stress by throwing a basketball at the wall. I wound up and hurled the thing at the wall, it bounced back and hit me in the stomach. I began to vomit uncontrollably. Even my teacher laughed. FML

#5315969
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38816) - you deserved it (9420)

On 09/17/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by sara (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84248) - you deserved it (223934)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its' head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML

#832092
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26108) - you deserved it (47758)

On 04/06/2009 at 7:47am - kids - by trashcanned (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

#553935
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84403) - you deserved it (31518)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
507 comments

I agree, your life sucks (237392) - you deserved it (82083)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)



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