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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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dannyp

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dannyp
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 613
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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dannyp's favorite FMLs

Today, I got hypnotized in front of my entire school. Once I was hypnotized the guy told me that the hottest celebrity in the world was in the audience and then he told me to point out who I saw. I said I saw Mick Jagger. I'm a guy. FML

#500940 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (53757) - you deserved it (7124)

On 03/20/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML

#424816 (241)

I agree, your life sucks (229609) - you deserved it (18621)

On 03/17/2009 at 9:24pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my parents said that they bought me a car. I had been begging for one for a year and they always said that I would have to pay for it myself. I got really excited and went to the garage to see my new ride. It was a Hot Wheels car with a note saying "save your money". FML

#412946 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (53865) - you deserved it (21716)

On 03/17/2009 at 2:17pm - money - by RdL (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989". They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML

#391986 (182)

I agree, your life sucks (128425) - you deserved it (24231)

On 03/16/2009 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by ihatevideos (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was writing an email to our entire company regarding a fundraiser we are taking part in for children and adults with disabilities. I was rushing to get the email out and hit send before I realized that instead of "Best Regards" I had typed "Best Retards" as the closing line. FML

#226271 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (21096) - you deserved it (29502)

On 03/06/2009 at 1:53pm - work - by Can't Spell Worth A Damn (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML

#221148 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (54009) - you deserved it (2627)

On 03/05/2009 at 8:51pm - kids - by SadDad - United States (Florida)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML

#56665 (528)

I agree, your life sucks (141643) - you deserved it (53016)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally kicked a child down a set of steps. I work in a kids play area. FML

#24461 (55)

I agree, your life sucks (10372) - you deserved it (20063)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:59am - misc - by Crog (man) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)