This member hasn't filled in the description.
Today, I went shopping at Macy's for swimsuits with my mom. I told my mom that I hated all the suits there, and that I wanted to get them at Dick's Sporting Goods. My mother then said, in a loud voice, "STOP BEING SO OBSESSED WITH DICKS!" Half the store stared at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60836) - you totally deserved it (6712)
On 04/23/2009 at 3:33pm - intimacy - by jpr11011 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got hypnotized in front of my entire school. Once I was hypnotized the guy told me that the hottest celebrity in the world was in the audience and then he told me to point out who I saw. I said I saw Mick Jagger. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48269) - you totally deserved it (6071)
On 03/20/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML
I agree, your life sucks (119419) - you totally deserved it (6078)
On 03/17/2009 at 9:24pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, my parents said that they bought me a car. I had been begging for one for a year and they always said that I would have to pay for it myself. I got really excited and went to the garage to see my new ride. It was a Hot Wheels car with a note saying "save your money". FML
I agree, your life sucks (49428) - you totally deserved it (19327)
On 03/17/2009 at 2:17pm - money - by RdL (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediatly ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989". They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML
I agree, your life sucks (112281) - you totally deserved it (20084)
On 03/16/2009 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by ihatevideos (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was writing an email to our entire company regarding a fundraiser we are taking part in for children and adults with disabilities. I was rushing to get the email out and hit send before I realized that instead of "Best Regards" I had typed "Best Retards" as the closing line. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17827) - you totally deserved it (25965)
On 03/06/2009 at 1:53pm - work - by Can't Spell Worth A Damn (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47704) - you totally deserved it (1979)
On 03/05/2009 at 8:51pm - kids - by SadDad - United States (Florida)
Today, I dropped my keys. Not wanting to lean over and pick them up, I pointed at them and said "Accio." Then I realized I had tried to use a Harry Potter spell in real life and in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21229) - you totally deserved it (93366)
On 03/05/2009 at 7:45pm - misc - by redhead (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (43040) - you totally deserved it (9741)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, I accidentally kicked a child down a set of steps. I work in a kids play area. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8397) - you totally deserved it (16914)
On 02/11/2009 at 6:59am - misc - by Crog (man) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)
[ Page : 1 ]
« Previous page | Next page »
