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danis

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danis

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 31 March 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2650
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About danis : Hi✌️

danis's page activity

Visits<b>Door_Productions</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 1:54am<b>eleven22</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 10:51pm<b>stonedfly3</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 9:25pm<b>tony1891</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 5:30pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 5:27pm<b>epicosity10</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 5:01pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 3:47am<b>smokecloud_</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 3:29am<b>BobRoss9</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 12:41am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 12:21am<b>metalfire10</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 12:07am<b>BreadstickFTW</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 11:13pm<b>Wiseguyry</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 11:13am<b>beast89012345</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 12:19am<b>Chelsea_bella</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 12:13am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:55pm<b>Allornone</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:50pm<b>slick5880</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:33pm

danis's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of danis's badges

danis's favorite FMLs

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

Today, while discussing career prospects with my mom, she suggested that I become a penis puppeteer, because "Let's face it, you play with it 24/7. Why not make a career out of it?" Yeah, thanks. FML

#20838688
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35676) - you deserved it (11875)

On 08/15/2013 at 12:49pm - work - by kaynotentirelywrong (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, a guest of the private beach club I work at asked if I could do something about the water temperature in the ocean. I laughed, thinking it was a joke. She was serious and complained to my boss, saying I was absolutely no help. FML

#20837266
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43090) - you deserved it (2663)

On 08/14/2013 at 3:47pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

#20835942
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48158) - you deserved it (17181)

On 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by ANON (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mum picked up a bunch of tissues that were scattered around my room. She examined them, then asked me to stop wasting her potential grandchildren. FML

#20825949
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49488) - you deserved it (40464)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand, when I shouted "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML

#20823279
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46013) - you deserved it (8997)

On 08/06/2013 at 2:19am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up at 6am and went into the kitchen, where I saw a mouse in front of the fridge. Petrified, I stood in the doorway shooing it for a few minutes. My husband then walked into the kitchen, picked up the "mouse", and threw it in the bin. It was a used tea bag. FML

#20823044
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37023) - you deserved it (17814)

On 08/06/2013 at 12:01am - animals - by Tea_baggins (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML

#20822322
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43250) - you deserved it (6134)

On 08/05/2013 at 4:21pm - animals - by traumatizedforlife (woman) - United States

Today, my daughter's biggest aspiration is to create a time machine for the sole purpose of going to the '70s to see the Ramones in concert. FML

#20810453
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33192) - you deserved it (8366)

On 07/29/2013 at 9:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, because I refused to shave off what my wife calls my "pedo 'stache", she painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van. FML

#20807393
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40875) - you deserved it (27552)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband was chased out of a bar after he was seen slipping something into a woman's drink. I was the woman, the 'something' was aspirin, and that's the last time we ever try to role-play. FML

#20798724
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49315) - you deserved it (27557)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in a restroom, reading this site, when another gentleman walked in. He washed his hands, dried them, nodded at me, then left. It wouldn't ordinarily be so weird, except I was in a one-person restroom. FML

#20784458
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48833) - you deserved it (8110)

On 07/15/2013 at 3:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I placed a Bible app next to an app I use for porn, in the hope that it will encourage me to watch less porn. I'm a girl. FML

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52957) - you deserved it (9152)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the doctor to have my annual check-up. After the doctor made me waddle across the room towards him, hop on one foot for thirty seconds, and then lay on my stomach and do the worm, he finally said, "OK, that wasn't really part of the check-up. You're large on the hips. Lay off the Cheetos." FML

#20760331
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43175) - you deserved it (11298)

On 07/02/2013 at 7:16pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)



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