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danis

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danis

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 31 March 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2414
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About danis : Hi✌️

danis's page activity

Visits<b>eleven22</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 10:51pm<b>stonedfly3</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 9:25pm<b>tony1891</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 5:30pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 5:27pm<b>epicosity10</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 5:01pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 3:47am<b>smokecloud_</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 3:29am<b>BobRoss9</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 12:41am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 12:21am<b>metalfire10</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 12:07am<b>BreadstickFTW</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 11:13pm<b>Wiseguyry</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 11:13am<b>beast89012345</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 12:19am<b>Chelsea_bella</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 12:13am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:55pm<b>Allornone</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:50pm<b>slick5880</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:33pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:26pm

danis's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of danis's badges

danis's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog had an upset stomach and diarrhea. To avoid a mess on the carpet, I confined her to a gated area in the kitchen with sheets over the floor, so any mess could be cleaned up easily. Instead of going on the sheets, she sprayed shit all up the walls. FML

#20933932
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42976) - you deserved it (6492)

On 10/25/2013 at 9:50pm - animals - by kiwibox - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I was playing soccer when a player kicked the ball at my crotch. In pain, I kneeled down. The referee came up to me and whispered, "The smaller they are, the more it hurts." FML

#20911508
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41561) - you deserved it (3594)

On 10/07/2013 at 8:21pm - misc - by Agax (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up, got dressed, and left for the 1 hour drive to the nearest vet. When I arrived, I realized that I left my cat in its carrier on my kitchen counter. FML

#20908268
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40089) - you deserved it (24419)

On 10/05/2013 at 12:00pm - animals - by wasted_gas - United States (Georgia)

Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML

#20894419
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50373) - you deserved it (4831)

On 09/24/2013 at 2:12pm - intimacy - by Craigslist is Evil. - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55004) - you deserved it (27631)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

Today, I came out of the closet. Now whenever I'm getting ready to go somewhere with my dad he says, "Lesgo, lesbo." FML

#20876692
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54504) - you deserved it (12203)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:17am - misc - by spiritbeast33 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML

#20875790
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41973) - you deserved it (6161)

On 09/10/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by Grand Slam (man) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, a lady cussed me out for not bringing her salad and pizza to her table. She then wanted her money back. I work at a buffet; a self-serve buffet. FML

#20859830
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44732) - you deserved it (2454)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:33am - work - by pizza girl - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I found out I was 13th in a graduating class of about 350 students. When I told my mother, without batting an eye, she told me, "Hey, shit floats". FML

#20859797
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38575) - you deserved it (2591)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:11am - work - by Parental Support - United States (Maryland)

Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I don't have one. She said "Exactly." FML

#20855163
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48215) - you deserved it (4831)

On 08/26/2013 at 2:22pm - misc - by Miami6and3 - United States (California)

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

Today, while discussing career prospects with my mom, she suggested that I become a penis puppeteer, because "Let's face it, you play with it 24/7. Why not make a career out of it?" Yeah, thanks. FML

#20838688
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35667) - you deserved it (11870)

On 08/15/2013 at 12:49pm - work - by kaynotentirelywrong (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, a guest of the private beach club I work at asked if I could do something about the water temperature in the ocean. I laughed, thinking it was a joke. She was serious and complained to my boss, saying I was absolutely no help. FML

#20837266
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43081) - you deserved it (2662)

On 08/14/2013 at 3:47pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

#20835942
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48121) - you deserved it (17175)

On 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by ANON (man) - United States (California)



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