Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

danis

Online | Search for a member

danis

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 31 March 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1996
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

danis's page activity

Visits<b>NotAUser</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 6:36am<b>_Slenderman_</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 6:55pm<b>Jthewat</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 7:08pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 9:03pm<b>hippo1234</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 2:47pm<b>curticus</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 8:28pm<b>horsehaed7</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 4:11am<b>tuckit</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 10:50pm<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 7:55pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 9:41am<b>flupsht</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 11:53pm<b>Thorvald22</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 1:58am<b>redwill85</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 1:03pm<b>Zz_I_Raditz</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 1:40pm<b>SarMarJo</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 3:21am<b>sazaraa</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 2:04am<b>Redthetrainer</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 10:24pm<b>GuyNoOneKnows</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 12:09am

danis's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of danis's badges

danis's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML

Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work what a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML

#20944786
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62016) - you deserved it (4041)

On 11/04/2013 at 12:45am - intimacy - by TheTruthofWomen (woman) - United States

Today, while driving in the car with my father, he handed me his iPhone and asked me to Google "Is ObamaCare good for our country?" As soon as I typed in "Is", the first result was "Is olive oil good for anal." FML

#20942318
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56549) - you deserved it (5392)

On 11/02/2013 at 9:21am - intimacy - by justme - United States (Ohio)

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

#20937985
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45746) - you deserved it (12414)

On 10/29/2013 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous - Zimbabwe

Today, I failed hard at a color test. I thought it was a joke because most of the colors looked the same to me. Now I know why people laugh at my clothes color choices. FML

#20936339
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45068) - you deserved it (3130)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:51am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dog had an upset stomach and diarrhea. To avoid a mess on the carpet, I confined her to a gated area in the kitchen with sheets over the floor, so any mess could be cleaned up easily. Instead of going on the sheets, she sprayed shit all up the walls. FML

#20933932
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42905) - you deserved it (6485)

On 10/25/2013 at 9:50pm - animals - by kiwibox - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I was playing soccer when a player kicked the ball at my crotch. In pain, I kneeled down. The referee came up to me and whispered, "The smaller they are, the more it hurts." FML

#20911508
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41498) - you deserved it (3589)

On 10/07/2013 at 8:21pm - misc - by Agax (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up, got dressed, and left for the 1 hour drive to the nearest vet. When I arrived, I realized that I left my cat in its carrier on my kitchen counter. FML

#20908268
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39492) - you deserved it (23977)

On 10/05/2013 at 12:00pm - animals - by wasted_gas - United States (Georgia)

Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML

#20894419
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50284) - you deserved it (4822)

On 09/24/2013 at 2:12pm - intimacy - by Craigslist is Evil. - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54912) - you deserved it (27595)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

Today, I came out of the closet. Now whenever I'm getting ready to go somewhere with my dad he says, "Lesgo, lesbo." FML

#20876692
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54426) - you deserved it (12196)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:17am - misc - by spiritbeast33 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML

#20875790
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41911) - you deserved it (6151)

On 09/10/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by Grand Slam (man) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, a lady cussed me out for not bringing her salad and pizza to her table. She then wanted her money back. I work at a buffet; a self-serve buffet. FML

#20859830
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44664) - you deserved it (2451)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:33am - work - by pizza girl - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I found out I was 13th in a graduating class of about 350 students. When I told my mother, without batting an eye, she told me, "Hey, shit floats". FML

#20859797
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38529) - you deserved it (2590)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:11am - work - by Parental Support - United States (Maryland)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: