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danis

Offline (the 01/26/2015 at 1:43am) | Search for a member

danis

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 31 March 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3143
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About danis : Hi✌️

danis's page activity

Visits<b>Door_Productions</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 1:54am<b>eleven22</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 10:51pm<b>stonedfly3</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 9:25pm<b>tony1891</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 5:30pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 5:27pm<b>epicosity10</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 5:01pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 3:47am<b>smokecloud_</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 3:29am<b>BobRoss9</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 12:41am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 12:21am<b>metalfire10</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 12:07am<b>BreadstickFTW</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 11:13pm<b>Wiseguyry</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 11:13am<b>beast89012345</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 12:19am<b>Chelsea_bella</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 12:13am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:55pm<b>Allornone</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:50pm<b>slick5880</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:33pm

danis's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of danis's badges

danis's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend, who was driving down the highway with the windows down. All of a sudden, everything went black. A cattle truck had sped past, and I had been hit by cow faeces travelling at 110km an hour. My boyfriend was hysterical. None of it hit him. FML

#21127873
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49571) - you deserved it (4524)

On 05/01/2014 at 10:17am - animals - by Felicityfrank (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I saw a cute guy and decided to say hi. As I started to think about things to talk about, one story in particular about a drummer who looked like Jesus stuck out in my mind. I was so nervous that instead of saying hi, I blurted out, "Some people look like Jesus!" and took off. FML

Today, I accidentally walked in on my mom cheating on my step-dad with my real dad. FML

Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML

#21110266
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40386) - you deserved it (2987)

On 04/11/2014 at 12:38pm - misc - by Cuntlette (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

#21108224
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19473) - you deserved it (44973)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by Motha - United States (Utah)

Today, my phone rang just seconds after I left a conference meeting to go use the restroom. It wouldn't have been a problem, except it seems one of my friends thought it would be funny to change my ringtone to a woman having an orgasm. FML

#21104664
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37407) - you deserved it (4381)

On 04/04/2014 at 7:46pm - work - by King_of_hearts (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML

#21104415
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33446) - you deserved it (18435)

On 04/04/2014 at 1:26pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, the clock in the study lounge was off, so I was half-an-hour late to class. I was too embarrassed to walk in late, so I sat for the next half-hour with my ear against the door trying to hear the lecture. People stopped to ask if there was something wrong with me. Yeah, probably. FML

#21096550
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35089) - you deserved it (10391)

On 03/25/2014 at 11:31pm - work - by SocialAnxietySucks (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dad took me to a bar for my first legal drink. He quickly got "drunk" and started slurring that I was an accident, saying the only reason I'm alive is because he'd been too poor to pay for an abortion. As I started crying, he burst out laughing and said soberly, "Just kidding, son." FML

#21092859
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44153) - you deserved it (5765)

On 03/21/2014 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, in the middle of a Spanish oral exam, I start to panic. My teacher suggests I say whatever pops into my head. I blurt out, "Heeey Macarena!" FML

#21086197
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40004) - you deserved it (8180) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2014 at 12:33am - work - by LeChameauTrisomique - France (Centre)

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48081) - you deserved it (9568)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML

#21079127
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36972) - you deserved it (14759)

On 03/05/2014 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)

Today, I was playing an intense game of Flappy Bird. I was so excited at being about to beat my high score that I got a hard-on. FML

#21074219
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42446) - you deserved it (19777)

On 02/28/2014 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Russian Federation (Moskva)

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

#21073315
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25345) - you deserved it (55675)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was trying to study for a test when my brother and his friends decided to play the chant game, meaning one person yells something weird and everyone else has to say it back without laughing. All I heard for about two hours was them yelling things like, "DICK NIPPLES." FML

#21069920
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35044) - you deserved it (3293)

On 02/23/2014 at 10:59pm - misc - by DIY560 - United States (Pennsylvania)



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