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danis

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danis

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 31 March 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1819
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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danis's page activity

Visits<b>hippo1234</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 2:47pm<b>curticus</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 8:28pm<b>horsehaed7</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 4:11am<b>tuckit</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 10:50pm<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 7:55pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 9:41am<b>flupsht</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 11:53pm<b>Thorvald22</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 1:58am<b>redwill85</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 1:03pm<b>Zz_I_Raditz</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 1:40pm<b>SarMarJo</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 3:21am<b>sazaraa</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 2:04am<b>Redthetrainer</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 10:24pm<b>GuyNoOneKnows</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 12:09am<b>Trollx</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 12:44am<b>Sjus</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 6:02am<b>skittycat213</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 9:42am<b>grogers311</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 7:56am

danis's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of danis's badges

danis's favorite FMLs

Today, we were playing charades at school. My word was "head", so I pointed to my face. Nobody on my team got it. But they did guess, "Ugly?!" FML

#21024059
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41272) - you deserved it (4427)

On 01/10/2014 at 11:02pm - misc - by kyyle - United States (Illinois)

Today, I downloaded a movie for my mom that she really likes, "When Harry Met Sally". When she loaded the file, we soon found out it was actually some kind of obscure porno billed as "When Harry Wet Sally". FML

#21018145
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43951) - you deserved it (8797)

On 01/05/2014 at 6:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML

#21001267
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49262) - you deserved it (6828)

On 12/22/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by bleach bleach bleach (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

#20981890
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38611) - you deserved it (21444)

On 12/05/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by possibly a sweater (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

#20969815
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66551) - you deserved it (5554)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:16am - intimacy - by why god - United States (California)

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

#20969751
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54824) - you deserved it (5801)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by LadyLola (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML

Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work what a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML

#20944786
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61784) - you deserved it (4029)

On 11/04/2013 at 12:45am - intimacy - by TheTruthofWomen (woman) - United States

Today, while driving in the car with my father, he handed me his iPhone and asked me to Google "Is ObamaCare good for our country?" As soon as I typed in "Is", the first result was "Is olive oil good for anal." FML

#20942318
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56372) - you deserved it (5381)

On 11/02/2013 at 9:21am - intimacy - by justme - United States (Ohio)

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

#20937985
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45676) - you deserved it (12406)

On 10/29/2013 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous - Zimbabwe

Today, I failed hard at a color test. I thought it was a joke because most of the colors looked the same to me. Now I know why people laugh at my clothes color choices. FML

#20936339
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45025) - you deserved it (3126)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:51am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dog had an upset stomach and diarrhea. To avoid a mess on the carpet, I confined her to a gated area in the kitchen with sheets over the floor, so any mess could be cleaned up easily. Instead of going on the sheets, she sprayed shit all up the walls. FML

#20933932
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42852) - you deserved it (6478)

On 10/25/2013 at 9:50pm - animals - by kiwibox - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I was playing soccer when a player kicked the ball at my crotch. In pain, I kneeled down. The referee came up to me and whispered, "The smaller they are, the more it hurts." FML

#20911508
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41440) - you deserved it (3584)

On 10/07/2013 at 8:21pm - misc - by Agax (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up, got dressed, and left for the 1 hour drive to the nearest vet. When I arrived, I realized that I left my cat in its carrier on my kitchen counter. FML

#20908268
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39455) - you deserved it (23951)

On 10/05/2013 at 12:00pm - animals - by wasted_gas - United States (Georgia)



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