About danis : Hi✌️
danis's FML badges
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
danis's favorite FMLs
Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML
by sonofaneuroticwench / 08/20/2014 at 4:08pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
by BagelTheOtaku / 08/20/2014 at 1:15am / United States (Georgia) / Health
Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML
by drunk under 18 teenager / 08/19/2014 at 9:37am / Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz) / Geek
Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML
by you ripped them off ages ago / 08/17/2014 at 2:15am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Kids
by gag reflex / 08/16/2014 at 12:03pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML
by meltdowninrels / 08/15/2014 at 6:09pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Love
Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML
by FUCK YOU / 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 7:03am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by failed dad / 06/25/2014 at 8:30am / Greece (Attiki) / Kids
Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML
by icandothecancan / 06/21/2014 at 7:14pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids
Today, my mother came over to check on my new kitten while I was at work. She took a video of the kitten playing on my bed and climbing on my nightstand. Right on top of my vibrator I forgot to put away. I'm not sure if she noticed or not but she's certainly been showing the video around. FML
by misoranomegami / 06/20/2014 at 10:48pm / United States / Intimacy
by guest / 06/18/2014 at 9:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by ToddlersWife / 06/15/2014 at 7:10am / United Kingdom (Reading) / Love
Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML
by Anonymous / 06/14/2014 at 2:42am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Kids
by BrefODM / 06/12/2014 at 11:15pm / United Kingdom / Health
- Today, while messaging this guy I like on Facebook, I learned that you can set an emoji as the name… Today, I stuck my hands in my pocket to get my phone during math class. The teacher then announced… Today, I was outed. I'm 43 years old and have been in the closet since I realized I was gay in the…