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danis's FML badges
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
danis's favorite FMLs
Today, I spent well over an hour waiting for customer service to assist me with my forgotten password, only to realize, 5 minutes into the conversation, that I had never created an account in the first place. FML
by Anonymous / 12/14/2014 at 2:19am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML
by ring-a-ding-ding / 12/06/2014 at 12:18am / United States (Nevada) / Work
by Anonymous / 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my only child introduced his new girlfriend to me. He is 36 and has no children. She is 46 and has a pregnant daughter who she is very close with. I don't know if I'll ever be a grandfather, but in any case, my son is going to be one before me. FML
by Greatgrandpa / 11/30/2014 at 12:29pm / Curacao / Kids
by Xx_DEXIJOKER_xX / 11/11/2014 at 10:16pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work
Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML
by Purple / 11/05/2014 at 8:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML
by too good / 10/24/2014 at 6:54am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy
Today, I was passing notes in class with my crush. I started to pour my heart out and tell him about how I've liked him for years. I was caught by the teacher. He looked at it, laughed, and tore it up. He then looked at me and said, "I just saved you from years of embarrassment. You're welcome." FML
by Rachel / 10/23/2014 at 12:04am / United States (Ohio) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/14/2014 at 2:57pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by SeriousJoker72 / 10/10/2014 at 9:17pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Health
Today, my OCD reached a new high when I used a correction pen to white-out an eyelash which was photocopied onto every single page of my reading material. I did it because the eyelash was too distracting and I couldn't finish reading the article without the urge to rip it into shreds. FML
by waternixie / 10/07/2014 at 11:49pm / Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML
by Waterfalls / 10/07/2014 at 7:33am / United States (California) / Health
by Katthebamf / 09/28/2014 at 10:25am / United Kingdom (St. Helens) / Transportation
by whotouchedyou1 / 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm / United States (Texas) / Health
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…