danis

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Offline (the 04/19/2015 at 7:28pm)

danis

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 31 March 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5075
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About danis : Hi✌️

danis's page activity

Visits<b>paigexox0</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 5:14am<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 3:30pm<b>Door_Productions</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 1:54am<b>eleven22</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 10:51pm<b>stonedfly3</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 9:25pm<b>tony1891</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 5:30pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 5:27pm<b>epicosity10</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 5:01pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 3:47am<b>smokecloud_</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 3:29am<b>BobRoss9</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 12:41am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 12:21am<b>metalfire10</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 12:07am<b>BreadstickFTW</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 11:13pm<b>Wiseguyry</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 11:13am<b>beast89012345</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 12:19am<b>Chelsea_bella</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 12:13am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:55pm

danis's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of danis's badges

danis's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing charades with my boyfriend and family. The answer was "Beckoning" so I acted it out with a "come here" gesture. He looked confused for a second, then blurted out "Fingering?" FML

by ajodasdojsad / 03/21/2015 at 11:12am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom and I made the bad decision to go hiking for some mother-daughter bonding even though we had little experience. My mother tumbled down a mountain named Tumbledown and I couldn't even enjoy the irony because I had to half carry her all the way back to the car. FML

by manderpander21 / 03/16/2015 at 8:56pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, my mom demanded that I go into the basement and fix the water heater. I told her that I had no idea how to fix it, so she threw my phone down the stairs, told me to Google it, and locked the basement door behind me. It's been two hours. FML

by MyMomIsInsane / 03/09/2015 at 8:28pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's been almost two months that I've been taking hair, skin and nails vitamins. The only thing growing noticeably longer, faster, stronger, and healthier are my pubes. I've never sheared a sheep before, but I imagine the maintenance I just did was comparable. FML

by bushwhacker / 03/05/2015 at 6:34pm / United States (Kansas) / Health

Today, I got pulled over during my driving test. FML

by notdrivinganytimesoon / 03/03/2015 at 9:35pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, while watching a clip of the show "16 and Pregnant" on YouTube in my room, my mom yelled from the kitchen that dinner was ready. Without skipping a beat, I yelled back, "I'm pregnant!" I'm a guy. FML

by TheKingKen / 02/13/2015 at 3:40am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

by SDCore / 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a heated debate about climate change. I got so flustered that I forgot the word "volcano" and ended up calling them "exploding mountain things". End of the debate. Shame. FML

by WalkTheOtherWay / 01/31/2015 at 9:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I mixed up my chapstick and cork grease. Now my clarinet smells like cherries, and my lips smell like a gym floor. FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2015 at 12:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, like every day, I woke up at 3 in the morning because my roommate needs "a three hour warning" before his real alarm goes off. His alarm is a constant beeping noise which he always ignores for a good 10 minutes before finally getting up and turning it off. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2015 at 1:51pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous

Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I went to leave my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML

by trixanne / 01/06/2015 at 3:57pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, a very drunk woman at the family Christmas party told me she felt terrible that I don't have a mother who cares about me. She is my mother. FML

by anon / 12/25/2014 at 3:20pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent a quarter of an hour trying to figure out why my car wouldn't unlock, then why my number plate had changed. FML

by Anonymous / 12/22/2014 at 11:27am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Transportation