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danis

Offline (the 04/19/2015 at 7:28pm) | Search for a member

danis

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 31 March 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4135
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About danis : Hi✌️

danis's page activity

Visits<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 3:30pm<b>Door_Productions</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 1:54am<b>eleven22</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 10:51pm<b>stonedfly3</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 9:25pm<b>tony1891</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 5:30pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 5:27pm<b>epicosity10</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 5:01pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 3:47am<b>smokecloud_</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 3:29am<b>BobRoss9</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 12:41am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 12:21am<b>metalfire10</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 12:07am<b>BreadstickFTW</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 11:13pm<b>Wiseguyry</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 11:13am<b>beast89012345</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 12:19am<b>Chelsea_bella</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 12:13am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:55pm<b>Allornone</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:50pm

danis's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of danis's badges

danis's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing charades with my boyfriend and family. The answer was "Beckoning" so I acted it out with a "come here" gesture. He looked confused for a second, then blurted out "Fingering?" FML

#21378887
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28643) - you deserved it (3410)

On 03/21/2015 at 11:12am - misc - by ajodasdojsad (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my mom and I made the bad decision to go hiking for some mother-daughter bonding even though we had little experience. My mother tumbled down a mountain named Tumbledown and I couldn't even enjoy the irony because I had to half carry her all the way back to the car. FML

#21375957
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27602) - you deserved it (3298)

On 03/16/2015 at 8:56pm - health - by manderpander21 - United States (New York)

Today, my mom demanded that I go into the basement and fix the water heater. I told her that I had no idea how to fix it, so she threw my phone down the stairs, told me to Google it, and locked the basement door behind me. It's been two hours. FML

#21371408
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (103) - you deserved it (2416)

On 03/09/2015 at 8:28pm - misc - by MyMomIsInsane - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43277) - you deserved it (19596)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, it's been almost two months that I've been taking hair, skin and nails vitamins. The only thing growing noticeably longer, faster, stronger, and healthier are my pubes. I've never sheared a sheep before, but I imagine the maintenance I just did was comparable. FML

#21368822
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26216) - you deserved it (7)

On 03/05/2015 at 6:34pm - health - by bushwhacker (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got pulled over during my driving test. FML

#21367600
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32624) - you deserved it (7074)

On 03/03/2015 at 9:35pm - misc - by notdrivinganytimesoon (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML

#21366982
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91) - you deserved it (24)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML

#21356191
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36296) - you deserved it (3463)

On 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, while watching a clip of the show "16 and Pregnant" on YouTube in my room, my mom yelled from the kitchen that dinner was ready. Without skipping a beat, I yelled back, "I'm pregnant!" I'm a guy. FML

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18788) - you deserved it (35654)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in a heated debate about climate change. I got so flustered that I forgot the word "volcano" and ended up calling them "exploding mountain things". End of the debate. Shame. FML

#21347486
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27089) - you deserved it (6555)

On 01/31/2015 at 9:29pm - misc - by WalkTheOtherWay - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I mixed up my chapstick and cork grease. Now my clarinet smells like cherries, and my lips smell like a gym floor. FML

#21340194
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28919) - you deserved it (6336)

On 01/19/2015 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, like every day, I woke up at 3 in the morning because my roommate needs "a three hour warning" before his real alarm goes off. His alarm is a constant beeping noise which he always ignores for a good 10 minutes before finally getting up and turning it off. FML

#21338310
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28711) - you deserved it (2580)

On 01/16/2015 at 1:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I went to leave my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML

#21332094
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24729) - you deserved it (3123)

On 01/06/2015 at 3:57pm - misc - by trixanne (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a very drunk woman at the family Christmas party told me she felt terrible that I don't have a mother who cares about me. She is my mother. FML

#21324062
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32702) - you deserved it (2236)

On 12/25/2014 at 3:20pm - misc - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)



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