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danimal66

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danimal66

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danimal66's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed and I asked him why he was with me. His answer was, "Well, the last girl I dated was really smart and she always made me feel dumb, so I decided to switch things up a bit. You make me feel like a genius babe." FML

#20417781
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37295) - you deserved it (7163)

On 12/24/2012 at 12:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55412) - you deserved it (9855)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML

#20416717
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35943) - you deserved it (5613)

On 12/23/2012 at 4:36pm - kids - by still had to pay (man) - Australia

Today, I fell asleep while watching an action movie. My newly installed surround sound system scared me so bad that I fell off the couch and smashed my face on our coffee table. FML

#17171472
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23772) - you deserved it (10969)

On 07/19/2011 at 12:43am - misc - by nataliepaige - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML

#15098131
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29017) - you deserved it (8824)

On 02/24/2011 at 1:29am - misc - by JustADream (man) - United States (California)

Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML

#7391699
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46093) - you deserved it (5396)

On 01/17/2010 at 1:22am - health - by Concussed (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I noticed the woman I've been sleeping with for over 2 years never lets me see her naked during sex. I confronted her about it and she replied, "I don't care if you see me naked. I was just leaving the lights off the whole time so I don't have to see you naked." FML

#7147698
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20302) - you deserved it (3830)

On 01/04/2010 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by audied (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend of nine months when she gets a phone call and decides to answer it. It was her fiancé that I knew nothing about. She told me she was engaged while I was still inside of her. FML

#552501
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (106407) - you deserved it (7849)

On 03/23/2009 at 1:22pm - intimacy - by MID12 (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (233109) - you deserved it (30958)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)



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