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daniisme

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daniisme

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 9 December 1996 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4058
  • Number of comments : 260
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About daniisme : Im bored.

daniisme's page activity

Visits<b>Matthew86</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 12:11am<b>Crazynocatlady</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:56am<b>gr4ce_gr4ce</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 7:59pm<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 9:25am<b>Kingofkatz</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 7:19am<b>narutoarya</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 2:18am<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 3:17pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 9:38am<b>Ohthatsnasty</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 12:29am<b>verybad30</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 12:45pm<b>missy_nina</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 6:39pm<b>breebree893</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 3:21pm<b>music8484</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 1:39pm<b>greeneyebeauty9</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 1:17pm<b>HELL0KiTTY</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 4:22am<b>Blackcatluck</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 11:04pm<b>Valeyard</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 3:24pm<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 2:05am

daniisme's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

daniisme's favorite FMLs

Today, I met this guy I really liked at a party. We got chatting and then hit the dance floor. We had a "moment" and I went in to kiss him. He shot forward with his tongue already out. His eyes were open. FML

#1315252
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46626) - you deserved it (8881)

On 04/25/2009 at 8:18am - misc - by plasticfantastic - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML

#981592
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94931) - you deserved it (38887)

On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "but I just peed in that water." FML

#965194
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85585) - you deserved it (8447)

On 04/14/2009 at 4:51am - kids - by poolboy (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML

#879478
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65133) - you deserved it (8520)

On 04/08/2009 at 11:43pm - animals - by BadBreath (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I asked her if she could put some sunscreen on my back. Thinking it would be funny, she used the lotion to write "I Love Little Boys". I work as a children's swimming instructor. FML

#864226
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61934) - you deserved it (5634)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:03am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, the director of the play I'm in decided to explain why we got the parts we did. He said he tried matching our characters to who we actually are. I play a whore who's a transvestite. FML

#818560
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64193) - you deserved it (5954)

On 04/05/2009 at 3:11pm - misc - by InsideActress (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I decided to play a joke on my boyfriend and planned to pretend that I found a thong in his gym bag. When he came home, I "confronted" him. After struggling through putting on my best face, he, unexpectedly confessed: "Look, babe, I'm sorry. It meant nothing." FML

#556029
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51453) - you deserved it (87033)

On 03/23/2009 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
519 comments

I agree, your life sucks (241347) - you deserved it (31668)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
870 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58526) - you deserved it (620842)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got hypnotized in front of my entire school. Once I was hypnotized the guy told me that the hottest celebrity in the world was in the audience and then he told me to point out who I saw. I said I saw Mick Jagger. I'm a guy. FML

#500940
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63213) - you deserved it (9369)

On 03/20/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML

#459087
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28228) - you deserved it (104197)

On 03/19/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by JohnMackSquirts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching this TV show where a man was describing how much he loved this woman, how he made every opportunity to see her, and how he loved her in a way nobody else could. I smiled, because that's exactly the way I feel about my crush. Then I realized the program was about stalkers. FML

#438513
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71873) - you deserved it (28234)

On 03/18/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by bluten (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047
1228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (649252) - you deserved it (437340)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up at my grandparents house since my mom was out of town, still half asleep i went to brush my teeth. Mid brush my mouth started getting numb I looked again at the tooth paste I used..turns out it was my grandpa's anti-itch anal cream. FML

#245062
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63499) - you deserved it (19552)

On 03/08/2009 at 7:57pm - misc - by poop - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came to work, to find my creepy boss sitting in my office. I work the night shift, so very unusual to find him there. I asked how he was, and he replied, "I told my wife about us; she kicked me out." I've been working there a month. Also, I'm married and pregnant. So, excuse me, "US?" FML

#180985
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90935) - you deserved it (4683)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:10am - work - by oh_mylanta (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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