daniisme

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daniisme

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 9 December 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5146
  • Number of comments : 260
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About daniisme : Im bored.

daniisme's page activity

Visits<b>Arnv</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 12:52pm<b>Death_The_Kid15</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 6:17pm<b>kayla5797</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 10:26pm<b>taylorbrown97</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 4:29pm<b>Rolz14</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 12:10am<b>DragonBorn69</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 8:57am<b>mcbatmanrainbows</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 8:49pm<b>melons</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 7:59pm<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 6:13am<b>soveryunoriginal</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 10:35pm<b>hplover32</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 6:43pm<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 11:52pm<b>fayza564</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 4:52am<b>PickledSweets</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 3:35pm<b>dageorge21</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 6:58pm<b>dianadarwish</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 8:46pm<b>InvictusTribuni</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 8:16am<b>Doubtful_Judge</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 5:14am

daniisme's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

daniisme's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in the living room with my brother and his two older, hot friends when my mother walks out from the toilet and tells me, "Honey, if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie wipe the seatie." Need I say more? FML

by Mortified / 07/22/2009 at 5:48am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend posted my picture on Craigslist under the "men seeking men" section. I got 16 replies with 2 hours. He then decided to post another picture of me under "men seeking women" to compare results. The only reply I got was from a man. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2009 at 9:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting. The kids were thirsty, so I poured them both a cup of the green juice I'd found in a jug in their fridge. They downed it in a flash. It wasn't until later on after I'd poured myself a cup and taken a sip, I realized I had given them margarita mix. The kids are 4 and 2. FML

by smth / 07/05/2009 at 10:39pm / United States (Utah) / Kids

Today, I was teaching swimming. A small boy said his stomach hurt, so I placed him on my back and carried him to the main building where he could lay down. He then jumped off my back and ran back towards the beach because 'he felt better'. I had explosive diarrhea all over my back. FML

by unluckycounsellor / 06/30/2009 at 7:26pm / Bermuda (Hamilton) / Kids

Today, I had my first kiss standing in front of my front door. It was really cute, the way you normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized my mom had been watching out her second story bedroom window taking pictures. She put them on Facebook captioned 'My baby's first kiss!' FML

by steven / 06/28/2009 at 11:53am / Cayman Islands / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting a pedicure and the woman sitting next to me asked the lady if she could take the skin she had scraped off my feet home to her birds because they love skin. She then describes for 20 minutes how her birds love to sit on her when her sunburn is peeling and eat her skin. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2009 at 4:34am / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, my boyfriend and I took a late night drive, and after a while he stopped at a gas station and asked if I wanted anything I replied "guess". He came out and gave me a box of tampons. Apparently I've been bitchy. FML

by tamp / 06/22/2009 at 3:47am / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

by SleepyKirsty / 06/09/2009 at 9:36am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy

Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 06/05/2009 at 5:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML

by Mew / 06/04/2009 at 8:07am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was at the mall with my girlfriend's family. Her 7 year old brother told me he was feeling sad, so I tried to give him a pat on the back, but it turns out he had a bruise there. He yelled out "don't touch me there!" In the middle of the mall. Now her parents think I'm a pedophile. FML

by notacreep / 05/16/2009 at 4:39am / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife and I decided it would be funny to pull a prank on her family who we were going to see for dinner. I hid in the foyer while she went in and announced to her parents that she was leaving me. I watched as her mother hugged her daughter and cried "Finally..." FML

by goner / 05/01/2009 at 12:05am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking the subway to work when I saw a really hot girl. Noticing that she, like me, had a Dunkin' Donuts coffee, I tried to start a conversation by saying, "Is that Double Ds you have there?" She didn't pick up that I was talking about the coffee. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2009 at 6:46pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I gave my sister a stun gun for her birthday since she recently had a couple "close calls" walking home from work late at night. She was so excited and thankful that she wanted to express her gratitude by shocking me to see if it really worked. FML

by PoopTart / 04/29/2009 at 1:39am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met this guy I really liked at a party. We got chatting and then hit the dance floor. We had a "moment" and I went in to kiss him. He shot forward with his tongue already out. His eyes were open. FML

by plasticfantastic / 04/25/2009 at 8:18am / United Kingdom (Essex) / Love