daniisme

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daniisme

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 9 December 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4964
  • Number of comments : 260
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About daniisme : Im bored.

daniisme's page activity

Visits<b>Death_The_Kid15</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 6:17pm<b>kayla5797</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 10:26pm<b>taylorbrown97</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 4:29pm<b>Rolz14</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 12:10am<b>DragonBorn69</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 8:57am<b>mcbatmanrainbows</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 8:49pm<b>melons</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 7:59pm<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 6:13am<b>soveryunoriginal</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 10:35pm<b>hplover32</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 6:43pm<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 11:52pm<b>fayza564</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 4:52am<b>PickledSweets</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 3:35pm<b>dageorge21</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 6:58pm<b>dianadarwish</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 8:46pm<b>InvictusTribuni</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 8:16am<b>Doubtful_Judge</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 5:14am<b>jshakd642</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 3:13pm

daniisme's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

daniisme's favorite FMLs

Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML

by squirrel / 01/09/2010 at 12:01am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, when I was unpacking all of my stuff, my parents declared that they are going to live in Australia, and have found me a 'friend'. I am a 14 year old girl at boarding school, and my friend is my new foster mum. FML

by manksy / 01/01/2010 at 5:07pm / United Kingdom (North Yorkshire) / Work

Today, a man proposed to me in classic style on one knee. Unfortunately, I have been telling this man for the last two months that I don't even want to date him. He thinks I'm playing hard to get and is not giving up. FML

by Unloving / 12/31/2009 at 4:47pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I shared the story of my younger brother's unexpected death with a friend. After telling him the story, I looked at him with teary eyes and he looked back into my eyes and said "I understand how you feel. That is almost as bad as when I lost my cat last spring term." FML

by Beeh / 12/24/2009 at 12:31am / United States / Animals

Today, I spent five minutes trying to kill a spider with my mind. FML

by AnRom / 12/17/2009 at 4:58am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I saw my four-year-old son running around outside, and copying everything our dog was doing. I thought it was cute, so I went to grab the camera. When I went back outside, I saw my dog eating a dead rabbit, and my son doing the same. FML

by Anonymous / 12/13/2009 at 7:42pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I woke up lying on the ground outside with a horrible headache. I camped out in my tree house last night. FML

by B-Man / 12/11/2009 at 4:55pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching TV with my mom. The new Trojan Ecstasy condom commercial came on. I sat there awkwardly while my mom pulled out her shopping list. I bet you can guess what she added. FML

by aawkward... / 12/09/2009 at 2:27pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that you should never teach your 6 year old child how to use the microwave, unless you want to be cleaning melted pet fish for about half an hour. FML

by poopiemanlol / 12/01/2009 at 5:24pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML

by fartlover / 11/27/2009 at 12:10am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my car crashed and the only refuge was at a nearby house, the resident of which was a crazy psycho. Now replace "crazy psycho" with "crazy ex-girlfriend who won't help you unless you compose a poem about how much you love her." FML

by worsethanzombies / 11/23/2009 at 11:40am / Spain (Madrid) / Transportation

Today, I realized why my 50 year old Dad's 30 something girlfriend looked so familiar. She is in all my parents wedding photos... as the flower girl. FML

by usmcgirl / 11/17/2009 at 10:18pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

by Anonymous / 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

by sad_dad / 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2009 at 1:22am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous