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daniisme

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daniisme
  • Town/Country : Auckland, New Zealand
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 9 December 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 3732
  • Number of comments : 260
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About daniisme : Im bored.

daniisme's last visitors

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daniisme's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

daniisme's favorite FMLs

Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML

#7227808
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9286) - you deserved it (35799)

On 01/09/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by squirrel (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, when I was unpacking all of my stuff, my parents declared that they are going to live in Australia, and have found me a 'friend'. I am a 14 year old girl at boarding school, and my friend is my new foster mum. FML

#7086130
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42009) - you deserved it (2271)

On 01/01/2010 at 5:07pm - work - by manksy (woman) - United Kingdom (North Yorkshire)

Today, a man proposed to me in classic style on one knee. Unfortunately, I have been telling this man for the last two months that I don't even want to date him. He thinks I'm playing hard to get and is not giving up. FML

#7060819
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27310) - you deserved it (4279)

On 12/31/2009 at 4:47pm - love - by Unloving (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I shared the story of my younger brother's unexpected death with a friend. After telling him the story, I looked at him with teary eyes and he looked back into my eyes and said "I understand how you feel. That is almost as bad as when I lost my cat last spring term." FML

#6914184
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27944) - you deserved it (2715)

On 12/24/2009 at 12:31am - animals - by Beeh (woman) - United States

Today, I spent five minutes trying to kill a spider with my mind. FML

#6789867
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7897) - you deserved it (37041)

On 12/17/2009 at 4:58am - animals - by AnRom (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw my four-year-old son running around outside, and copying everything our dog was doing. I thought it was cute, so I went to grab the camera. When I went back outside, I saw my dog eating a dead rabbit, and my son doing the same. FML

#6741094
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33826) - you deserved it (5212)

On 12/13/2009 at 7:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up lying on the ground outside with a horrible headache. I camped out in my tree house last night. FML

#6710619
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21492) - you deserved it (8831)

On 12/11/2009 at 4:55pm - misc - by B-Man (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was watching TV with my mom. The new Trojan Ecstasy condom commercial came on. I sat there awkwardly while my mom pulled out her shopping list. I bet you can guess what she added. FML

#6680888
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17571) - you deserved it (1770)

On 12/09/2009 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by aawkward... (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I realized that you should never teach your 6 year old child how to use the microwave, unless you want to be cleaning melted pet fish for about half an hour. FML

#6554102
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33302) - you deserved it (9541)

On 12/01/2009 at 5:24pm - kids - by poopiemanlol - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as a walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML

#6472214
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24901) - you deserved it (7314)

On 11/27/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by fartlover (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my car crashed and the only refuge was at a nearby house, the resident of which was a crazy psycho. Now replace "crazy psycho" with "crazy ex-girlfriend who won't help you unless you compose a poem about how much you love her." FML

#6420890
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26812) - you deserved it (4173)

On 11/23/2009 at 11:40am - love - by worsethanzombies (man) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, I realized why my 50 year old Dad's 30 something girlfriend looked so familiar. She is in all my parents wedding photos... as the flower girl. FML

#6348430
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36365) - you deserved it (1479)

On 11/17/2009 at 10:18pm - misc - by usmcgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

#6316031
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53207) - you deserved it (3152)

On 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

#5974378
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28871) - you deserved it (7979)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML

#5954141
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9764) - you deserved it (39479)

On 10/23/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)



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