danielleFML

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danielleFML

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 3 October 1987 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 35146
  • Number of comments : 178
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About danielleFML : i am human

danielleFML's page activity

Visits<b>DippinGrizzly907</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 4:05am<b>TEZZ</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 5:51pm<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 10:46pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 2:53pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 5:47am<b>MrPlamen</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 3:30pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 12:08am<b>crackyeggy</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 10:02pm<b>izkiz</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 2:06pm<b>thatsbs123</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 4:19pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 10:26pm<b>mommy2cassidy</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 5:08pm<b>tagallopes</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 5:29am<b>derpina72</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 9:32pm<b>ilovemsminaj</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 9:20am<b>melody309</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 9:22am<b>Raidriar</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 3:36pm<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 1:55pm

danielleFML's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

danielleFML's favorite FMLs

Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML

by fml1977 / 03/04/2010 at 1:43am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

by StinkyCactus / 01/08/2010 at 1:23am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, the instructions on my new IKEA bed made me cry. It includes a picture of a person working alone with a frown crossed out and is replaced by two smiling people working together. I have no one in my life to help me. FML

by hatelife / 12/30/2009 at 2:07pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my friends and I went to court. We are all college students, and for next semester, we will be on probation and have to do 8 hours of community service, as well as a $25 fine each. All for swinging on swings in the park after dark. FML

by Inner5YearOld / 12/11/2009 at 1:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my roommate gave me a self-help book on alcoholism for my birthday. He's an alcoholic. I gave him that book around 8 months ago. FML

by notalcoholic / 12/09/2009 at 12:29am / Philippines (Quezon City) / Miscellaneous

Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him "Where did you go to the potty?". He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML

by anonymous / 11/16/2009 at 1:00am / Japan (Okinawa) / Kids

Today, my date sent me a text saying "I'm sorry we're running late, we will be there shortly." I replied asking what she meant by "we". She said her parents, who were coming along to chaperone. I laughed about two 27 year olds having chaperones, until she walked in with her parents. FML

by Tragics / 11/11/2009 at 1:53pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Love

Today, I woke up to see my cat crawling out my window onto the roof. Afraid he was going to jump to the ground, I crawled out my window as well. I caught him. The neighbors caught me in my underwear and bra yelling at my cat on the roof. FML

by catgirl911 / 10/12/2009 at 9:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals

Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML

by BEE / 10/10/2009 at 6:35pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on my computer when the girl that I really like instant-messages me. I went to type back, accidentally pressed control-V, and posted an entire article on how to remove genital warts. FML

by Garrett / 10/01/2009 at 1:58am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, I proposed to a girl I'd been in love with for 6 years. I filled the balcony of the building where I'd first laid eyes on her with innumerable roses and, under the starlit sky, I did it. She later posted on facebook 'OMG. This geek I knew from high school did the FUNNIEST thing today'. FML

by JackOLantern / 07/13/2009 at 4:16pm / Satellite Provider / Love

Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said "What are you baby-sitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on the giraffe yelling at the top of his lungs. FML

by merkris / 06/29/2009 at 11:41am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2009 at 2:12pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, a waiter came up and and put out his hand so I gave him a high five and pounded it. He then says, "Um, that was a nice high five but I wanted your plate." FML

by Clueless / 05/24/2009 at 1:01am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my 6 year old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop 'pretending to be daddy' against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML

by Jessica / 05/14/2009 at 8:03pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids