Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

danielleFML

Search for a member

danielleFML

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 3 October 1987 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 34719
  • Number of comments : 178
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About danielleFML : i am human

danielleFML's page activity

Visits<b>melody309</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 9:22am<b>Raidriar</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 3:36pm<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 1:55pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 9:58am<b>Shannonbena</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 2:24pm<b>CameronGene23</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 1:28am<b>MandyCat484</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 11:38pm<b>auzieforever705</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 6:44pm<b>_Willa_</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 9:08pm<b>jdimaria3</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 9:31am<b>goawayy</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 6:18pm<b>max016</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 1:48pm<b>missalice0306</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 11:34pm<b>GayBlowjob</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 2:29am<b>itsbejarano</b> - the 04/18/2013 at 12:45am<b>raphanne</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 5:06pm<b>ForeverFemme</b> - the 01/26/2013 at 5:44am<b>GlupaReklama</b> - the 09/23/2011 at 8:21am

danielleFML's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

danielleFML's favorite FMLs

Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML

#8817091
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21610) - you deserved it (7045)

On 03/04/2010 at 1:43am - intimacy - by fml1977 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

Today, the instructions on my new IKEA bed made me cry. It includes a picture of a person working alone with a frown crossed out and is replaced by two smiling people working together. I have no one in my life to help me. FML

#7036461
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37109) - you deserved it (4267)

On 12/30/2009 at 2:07pm - love - by hatelife (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my friends and I went to court. We are all college students, and for next semester, we will be on probation and have to do 8 hours of community service, as well as a $25 fine each. All for swinging on swings in the park after dark. FML

Today, my roommate gave me a self-help book on alcoholism for my birthday. He's an alcoholic. I gave him that book around 8 months ago. FML

#6674667
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22470) - you deserved it (4672)

On 12/09/2009 at 12:29am - misc - by notalcoholic (man) - Philippines (Quezon City)

Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him "Where did you go to the potty?". He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML

#6321583
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30139) - you deserved it (3512)

On 11/16/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Japan (Okinawa)

Today, my date sent me a text saying "I'm sorry we're running late, we will be there shortly." I replied asking what she meant by "we". She said her parents, who were coming along to chaperone. I laughed about two 27 year olds having chaperones, until she walked in with her parents. FML

#6258074
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34276) - you deserved it (2938)

On 11/11/2009 at 1:53pm - love - by Tragics (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I woke up to see my cat crawling out my window onto the roof. Afraid he was going to jump to the ground, I crawled out my window as well. I caught him. The neighbors caught me in my underwear and bra yelling at my cat on the roof. FML

#5806197
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11940) - you deserved it (20864)

On 10/12/2009 at 9:44pm - animals - by catgirl911 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML

#5762381
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8087) - you deserved it (41607)

On 10/10/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by BEE (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was on my computer when the girl that I really like instant-messages me. I went to type back, accidentally pressed control-V, and posted an entire article on how to remove genital warts. FML

#5579268
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13352) - you deserved it (40950)

On 10/01/2009 at 1:58am - health - by Garrett (man) - United States (Oregon) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I proposed to a girl I'd been in love with for 6 years. I filled the balcony of the building where I'd first laid eyes on her with innumerable roses and, under the starlit sky, I did it. She later posted on facebook 'OMG. This geek I knew from high school did the FUNNIEST thing today'. FML

#3720470
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56336) - you deserved it (29399)

On 07/13/2009 at 4:16pm - love - by JackOLantern (man) - Satellite Provider

Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said "What are you baby-sitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on the giraffe yelling at the top of his lungs. FML

#3333969
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45042) - you deserved it (11389)

On 06/29/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by merkris (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML

#3120236
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50259) - you deserved it (4914)

On 06/22/2009 at 2:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, a waiter came up and and put out his hand so I gave him a high five and pounded it. He then says, "Um, that was a nice high five but I wanted your plate." FML

#2230053
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11599) - you deserved it (54817)

On 05/24/2009 at 1:01am - misc - by Clueless (woman) - United States

Today, my 6 year old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop 'pretending to be daddy' against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML

#1942963
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30454) - you deserved it (42672)

On 05/14/2009 at 8:03pm - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • Freaks's Illustrated FML
  • What's going on? Something weird is going on. I can feel in my bones. Can't you? People are acting weird, as if they're short-fused all of a sudden. There's definitely something…

Friday 1 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: