Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

daniel1_1

Search for a member

daniel1_1

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 29 November 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6812
  • Number of comments : 165
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About daniel1_1 : Yes, thats me in the picture. Im a high schooler in Fairfax County VA. I like swimming, running, tennis, kayaking, canoeing, backpacking, and shooting. I love to travel. My favorite places are probably Turkey and Kenya. GO TO THEM.

Thanks for reading this stalker.

daniel1_1's page activity

Visits<b>playhard_51</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 10:29am<b>xXBlakDayXx</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 12:59pm<b>dmcintosh</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 2:14pm<b>Kevejoe</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 4:35pm<b>snowflake6666</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 10:34pm<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 1:37pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 7:25pm<b>Duckzy</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 9:44pm<b>ILookAtFMLs</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 11:36am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 1:38am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 3:47am<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 8:53am<b>mattc99</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 7:55am<b>stupidretriever</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 1:37am<b>ThatsStoryOfLife</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 2:04pm<b>buckydargon</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 2:04pm<b>trinalporpus</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 8:33pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 1:57pm

daniel1_1's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of daniel1_1's badges

daniel1_1's favorite FMLs

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

#18051286
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43749) - you deserved it (19804)

On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

#18041675
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20477) - you deserved it (33841)

On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After we finished, he went under the covers and started touching me. At first I thought he was trying to give me "oral pleasure". It turns out he lost the condom inside of me and was trying to fish it out before I noticed. FML

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

#18015213
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53672) - you deserved it (8343)

On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

#18013165
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18438) - you deserved it (37281)

On 10/18/2011 at 2:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my balls were stepped on while I was taking a nap in the park. The man said he didn't see me lying there. I was wearing a neon orange jacket. FML

#17986528
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29759) - you deserved it (10988)

On 10/15/2011 at 12:33am - misc - by dak-rod423 (man) - United States (California)

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45218) - you deserved it (5068)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, my students took my glasses, hid them from me, and called me a turtle when I squinted my eyes trying to look for them. This carried on for about 25 minutes. FML

#17980365
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27773) - you deserved it (3779)

On 10/14/2011 at 2:09am - kids - by TurtleTeacher (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34793) - you deserved it (24718)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34793) - you deserved it (24718)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a highly intoxicated man came into my workplace and complained that the medicine that I'd prescribed for his dog almost choked him. I work at Blockbuster. FML

#17948173
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27562) - you deserved it (2205)

On 10/09/2011 at 11:30pm - work - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad came to confiscate my phone. I stuck it in between my boobs so he wouldn't be able to see it. He said, "Honey, your breasts aren't big enough to hide that." FML

#17935197
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14383) - you deserved it (39791)

On 10/08/2011 at 1:03pm - misc - by G - United States (California)

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

#17931369
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26354) - you deserved it (3360)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by ...... (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML

#17919622
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39137) - you deserved it (10061)

On 10/06/2011 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML

#17919318
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29692) - you deserved it (10495)

On 10/06/2011 at 11:23am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: