Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

daniel1_1

Search for a member

daniel1_1

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 29 November 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4930
  • Number of comments : 165
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About daniel1_1 : Yes, thats me in the picture. Im a high schooler in Fairfax County VA. I like swimming, running, tennis, kayaking, canoeing, backpacking, and shooting. I love to travel. My favorite places are probably Turkey and Kenya. GO TO THEM.

Thanks for reading this stalker.

daniel1_1's page activity

Visits<b>mattc99</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 7:55am<b>stupidretriever</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 1:37am<b>ThatsStoryOfLife</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 2:04pm<b>buckydargon</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 2:04pm<b>trinalporpus</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 8:33pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 1:57pm<b>ADoorMatt</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 6:56pm<b>Sylverfish</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 6:22pm<b>HikittyFace</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 10:06pm<b>groovy579</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 8:32pm<b>NotABadName</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 10:43pm<b>nesteremily</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 1:36am<b>supergoldfish87</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 6:17pm<b>lil_ham1644</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 10:31pm<b>Reprocess</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 1:51pm<b>SundayNightSix</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 5:47am<b>RevengeIsSweet</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 10:32am<b>ChrisPavs</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 5:08pm

daniel1_1's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of daniel1_1's badges

daniel1_1's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife was about to take a shower, when she called me into the bathroom. She stripped me off and pulled me in with her. As I started to get into it, she sighed, "Thank god. You really needed a shower." FML

#18663523
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10102) - you deserved it (34591)

On 12/31/2011 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by mark - United States

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

#18626435
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42107) - you deserved it (8104)

On 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by blegh (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, and calmly said "You left your porn in the bathroom again." FML

#18624814
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10150) - you deserved it (44458)

On 12/27/2011 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by ;)loganberry(; - United States (Montana)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a dutch oven, with my own fart. FML

#18617290
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7894) - you deserved it (34907)

On 12/26/2011 at 5:00pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a dutch oven, with my own fart. FML

#18617290
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7894) - you deserved it (34907)

On 12/26/2011 at 5:00pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML

#18579511
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29822) - you deserved it (7638)

On 12/22/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by Cookie (woman) - South Africa

Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML

#18565100
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21468) - you deserved it (5341)

On 12/20/2011 at 9:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up with Skittles super glued to my forehead. FML

#18561350
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27443) - you deserved it (5419)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by awalc - United States

Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML

#18556841
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8888) - you deserved it (44687)

On 12/19/2011 at 9:29pm - intimacy - by Colton (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML

#18553074
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30341) - you deserved it (2402)

On 12/19/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by stinkyhair (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to eat the orange I'd brought to work, but couldn't find it. After minutes searching, I found it. Nailed to the ceiling. FML

#18517264
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25089) - you deserved it (2490)

On 12/15/2011 at 1:57am - work - by Username - United States (California)

Today, my husband changed the voice on my car's GPS to Mr T's. I don't know how to change it back. I've been saying, "I pity the fool" over and over again ever since. FML

#18510240
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20084) - you deserved it (4881)

On 12/14/2011 at 9:06am - misc - by annoyed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking a dump with the door open. Merry Christmas. FML

#18490910
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24423) - you deserved it (2375)

On 12/12/2011 at 12:15am - misc - by tishihish - United States

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48535) - you deserved it (7725)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML

#18479276
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48172) - you deserved it (3614)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Joe (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: