Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

daniel1_1

Search for a member

daniel1_1

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 29 November 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5028
  • Number of comments : 165
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About daniel1_1 : Yes, thats me in the picture. Im a high schooler in Fairfax County VA. I like swimming, running, tennis, kayaking, canoeing, backpacking, and shooting. I love to travel. My favorite places are probably Turkey and Kenya. GO TO THEM.

Thanks for reading this stalker.

daniel1_1's page activity

Visits<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 8:53am<b>mattc99</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 7:55am<b>stupidretriever</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 1:37am<b>ThatsStoryOfLife</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 2:04pm<b>buckydargon</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 2:04pm<b>trinalporpus</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 8:33pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 1:57pm<b>ADoorMatt</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 6:56pm<b>Sylverfish</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 6:22pm<b>HikittyFace</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 10:06pm<b>groovy579</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 8:32pm<b>NotABadName</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 10:43pm<b>nesteremily</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 1:36am<b>supergoldfish87</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 6:17pm<b>lil_ham1644</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 10:31pm<b>Reprocess</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 1:51pm<b>SundayNightSix</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 5:47am<b>RevengeIsSweet</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 10:32am

daniel1_1's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of daniel1_1's badges

daniel1_1's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife was about to take a shower, when she called me into the bathroom. She stripped me off and pulled me in with her. As I started to get into it, she sighed, "Thank god. You really needed a shower." FML

#18663523
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10114) - you deserved it (34627)

On 12/31/2011 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by mark - United States

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

#18626435
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42168) - you deserved it (8106)

On 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by blegh (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, and calmly said "You left your porn in the bathroom again." FML

#18624814
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10160) - you deserved it (44496)

On 12/27/2011 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by ;)loganberry(; - United States (Montana)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a dutch oven, with my own fart. FML

#18617290
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7906) - you deserved it (34932)

On 12/26/2011 at 5:00pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a dutch oven, with my own fart. FML

#18617290
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7906) - you deserved it (34932)

On 12/26/2011 at 5:00pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML

#18579511
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29863) - you deserved it (7642)

On 12/22/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by Cookie (woman) - South Africa

Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML

#18565100
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21501) - you deserved it (5345)

On 12/20/2011 at 9:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up with Skittles super glued to my forehead. FML

#18561350
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27479) - you deserved it (5423)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by awalc - United States

Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML

#18556841
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8900) - you deserved it (44724)

On 12/19/2011 at 9:29pm - intimacy - by Colton (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML

#18553074
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30951) - you deserved it (2436)

On 12/19/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by stinkyhair (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to eat the orange I'd brought to work, but couldn't find it. After minutes searching, I found it. Nailed to the ceiling. FML

#18517264
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25719) - you deserved it (2542)

On 12/15/2011 at 1:57am - work - by Username - United States (California)

Today, my husband changed the voice on my car's GPS to Mr T's. I don't know how to change it back. I've been saying, "I pity the fool" over and over again ever since. FML

#18510240
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20133) - you deserved it (4886)

On 12/14/2011 at 9:06am - misc - by annoyed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking a dump with the door open. Merry Christmas. FML

#18490910
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24451) - you deserved it (2376)

On 12/12/2011 at 12:15am - misc - by tishihish - United States

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48599) - you deserved it (7728)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML

#18479276
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48220) - you deserved it (3617)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Joe (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: