Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

daniel1_1

Search for a member

daniel1_1

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 29 November 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6583
  • Number of comments : 165
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About daniel1_1 : Yes, thats me in the picture. Im a high schooler in Fairfax County VA. I like swimming, running, tennis, kayaking, canoeing, backpacking, and shooting. I love to travel. My favorite places are probably Turkey and Kenya. GO TO THEM.

Thanks for reading this stalker.

daniel1_1's page activity

Visits<b>dmcintosh</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 2:14pm<b>playhard_51</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 10:01am<b>Kevejoe</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 4:35pm<b>snowflake6666</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 10:34pm<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 1:37pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 7:25pm<b>Duckzy</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 9:44pm<b>ILookAtFMLs</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 11:36am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 1:38am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 3:47am<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 8:53am<b>mattc99</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 7:55am<b>stupidretriever</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 1:37am<b>ThatsStoryOfLife</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 2:04pm<b>buckydargon</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 2:04pm<b>trinalporpus</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 8:33pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 1:57pm<b>ADoorMatt</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 6:56pm

daniel1_1's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of daniel1_1's badges

daniel1_1's favorite FMLs

Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML

#18859925
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17159) - you deserved it (36002)

On 01/20/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by MyHeadHurts (man) - Ireland

Today, a man crashed into my car. He then got out of his car, dug a toothbrush and toothpaste out of his bag, and tried to brush away the damage. FML

#18851761
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29216) - you deserved it (2084)

On 01/19/2012 at 7:17am - misc - by toothpaste (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to sit through 10 minutes of hearing a man on the tram tell his friend in explicit detail about all the filthy sex acts he'd like to do to me. His friend told him to take a photo to jack off to later. When I tried to tell the tram driver, he told me to "take it as a compliment." FML

#18851241
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37341) - you deserved it (4080)

On 01/19/2012 at 3:32am - intimacy - by missprude666 (woman) - Australia

Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML

#18829619
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41338) - you deserved it (9759)

On 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I switched from pads to tampons. It took me several botched attempts trying insert one before I succeeded, and now I feel like I've just raped myself. FML

#18814672
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37091) - you deserved it (12874)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by lolwut - United States

Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML

#18778372
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15189) - you deserved it (45921)

On 01/11/2012 at 7:49pm - misc - by ThatOneGirl646 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML

#18766108
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44448) - you deserved it (4541)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - India

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

#18749585
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18725) - you deserved it (33593)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:43pm - intimacy - by caught - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

#18744677
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52257) - you deserved it (47733)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

#18716901
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37558) - you deserved it (4954) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm - animals - by Fat_abott - France

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

#18703291
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31937) - you deserved it (27544)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML

#18693659
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34204) - you deserved it (5299)

On 01/03/2012 at 2:17am - intimacy - by Cpt Colin (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my daughter brought her new boyfriend over for dinner. I realize now why she said we would get along great: we graduated high school together. FML

#18689614
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43965) - you deserved it (3188)

On 01/02/2012 at 8:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49590) - you deserved it (3459)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my wife was about to take a shower, when she called me into the bathroom. She stripped me off and pulled me in with her. As I started to get into it, she sighed, "Thank god. You really needed a shower." FML

#18663523
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10197) - you deserved it (34888)

On 12/31/2011 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by mark - United States



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: