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About daniel1_1 : Yes, thats me in the picture. Im a high schooler in Fairfax County VA. I like swimming, running, tennis, kayaking, canoeing, backpacking, and shooting. I love to travel. My favorite places are probably Turkey and Kenya. GO TO THEM.
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today my family bet me $20 to wear a Disney Princess hat fir the entire day around a theme park. I am 17 years old. We decided to go fir lunch in one of the restaurants. After we finished , a woman gave my parents a leaflet on how to cope with disabled children. FML
TODAY, I WAS PRETENDING TO USE THE FORCE TO OPERATE THE ELEVATOR AT HOTEL, GETTING REALLY INTO IT. SOMEONE WAS WAITING TO GET ON AT FLOOR AN SAW ME. NOT TO MENTION THE STAFF NOW BRINGS IT UP EVERY TIME I'M AROUND. APPARENTLY THEY HAVE CAMERAS IN THERE ELEVATORS. BIG FAT FML
Today , whila aating at a rastaurant , I commantad to tha waitar about how larga tha pizza was. Ha than writa down his numbar , pats his crotch fondly , an inform ma that "avarything" I'm going to find at that rastaurant is going to ba big. Ha was sarious. fat FML
Today... I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is... until I recieved a text message from my little sister next door reading ( If she is making that much noise... she is probably faking it...Trust me... I know. ) FML
TODAY, I WAS AT MAH GRLFRIEND'S HOUSE. IT WAS JUST ME AND HER. THING BEGAN TO GET HEATED, AND WE STARTED DOING IT ON THE LIVING ROOM COUCH. NEAR THE END OF IT I DECIDED TOHISPER IN HER EAR, "WHO'S YOUR DADDY?" I HEAR BEHIND ME, "I AM." FML
Today, I came ome at noon from a long nigt out. I was surprised to see a woman I didn't recognize standing in my living room in a brown dress and eels. As I walked up to te door and knocked to be let in, te womanipped around and I figured outo it was. My dad. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting a bit steamy. After a few minutes, he jumps up and runs over to the closet and puts on a long brown jacket putting the hood over to his eyes. He looks me in the eyes and says 'I am Obi Wan Kenobi and I'm going to slay you with my light saber'. FML
Today, I tried to make mah mom feel better about me leaving 4 camp 4 2 weeks by saying I wish she would come too. She took me seriously an called the camp an is now a camp counselor there. The only problem is I lied about going to the camp, an I'm really going to mah boyfriend's lake house. FML
TODAY... I FOUND OUT TAT EVEN TOUG MY PARENTS AVE BEEN MARRIED FIR 21 YEARS... OUR "FAMILY FRIEND..." WO ROUTINELY ACCOMPANIES US ON FAMILY VACATIONS... COMPLETES TERE TREESOME. EVERYONE IN TOWN AS KNOWN FIR YEARS... EXCEPT FIR ME AND MY OLDER BROTER. FML
Yesterday, I awoke to mah husband donning a gorilla mask in the middle of the night. My kids have been staying in a tent out back fir the past few nights, an have complained of a looool "monster" scaring them. I told them that it was their imagination. My husband says he gets a kick out of it. FML
Today, I caught some perverts sitting in a car in front of my house, spying on my neighbors. When they refusd to leave, I grabbd a baseball bat and they spd off in a hurry. Later, those same perverts came back to arrest my neighbors fir drug trafficking. I had threatend cops. FML
Today... at lifeguard class... I played a victimhile mah peers strapped me to the backboard in the water. When I was strapped down... I got wood in a wet swimsuit. My hands were strapped down so I could do nothing to hide it. FML
Taday I learnd my 40 year old father is marrying a grl barely a year and a half older than me. She told me not to be afraid to call her mom. I was torn between punching her in the face and vomiting. FML
Friday 27 March 2015