Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

daniel1_1

Search for a member

daniel1_1
  • Town/Country : Virginia, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 29 November 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 4508
  • Number of comments : 165
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About daniel1_1 : Yes, thats me in the picture. Im a high schooler in Fairfax County VA. I like swimming, running, tennis, kayaking, canoeing, backpacking, and shooting. I love to travel. My favorite places are probably Turkey and Kenya. GO TO THEM.

Thanks for reading this stalker.

daniel1_1's last visitors

NotABadNamenesteremilylil_ham1644SundayNightSixRevengeIsSweet

daniel1_1's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of daniel1_1's badges

daniel1_1's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching a video from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions, and I noticed that one of the boys in the film looked strangely like my dad when he was younger. After a little investigation, I now know that in his youth, my dad had a crippling masturbation problem. FML

#20181345
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36305) - you deserved it (3184)

On 11/27/2012 at 4:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, while walking on a nearly empty street, my friend dared me to slap a tall muscular chick on the butt and run away. I went and did it, but before I even had a chance to turn and run, she grabbed me, bent me over her knee and spanked me until I cried. My friend filmed it. FML

#20130842
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6467) - you deserved it (44530)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML

#20024799
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6270) - you deserved it (37647)

On 08/16/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my soon-to-be stepson, 13, decided that he and I needed to spend "more quality time" together. His idea? We should start "bonding" by taking a bath together. When I said no, he told me I was being unfair, and that if I really loved him, I'd do it. FML

#19999925
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26114) - you deserved it (2017)

On 08/03/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

#19995628
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52246) - you deserved it (9696)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, my iPhone got back from being fixed. When I opened the box there was a note attached to my phone that said, "All you had to do was turn it on." FML

#19986553
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4783) - you deserved it (33239)

On 07/27/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by ryanharp2 - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML

#19942597
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38274) - you deserved it (1747)

On 07/15/2012 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML

#19938552
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30242) - you deserved it (3259)

On 07/14/2012 at 8:50pm - intimacy - by checkup (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and sister fooling around in the shower together. Supposedly, she was sleepwalking, and he was trying to wake her up. FML

#19890528
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34371) - you deserved it (1965)

On 07/04/2012 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML

#19884123
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31549) - you deserved it (2082)

On 07/03/2012 at 1:36am - misc - by needmorelocks - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML

#19881608
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25486) - you deserved it (4239)

On 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by nobrony (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having a funny conversation with a guy I had met on Xbox. I told him the state I lived in, and he said, "Don't tell me that, I might stalk you." He wasn't kidding. He has somehow found out my phone number, and my address. He says he's going to send me flowers. FML

#19828397
271 comments

Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML

#19787973
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6089) - you deserved it (36932)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:59pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Croydon)

Today, in a parking lot, a girl came up to our car and started to knock on the window and scream, "I KNEW IT!" My girlfriend doesn't believe that I don't know her. FML

#19726144
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26315) - you deserved it (1991)

On 06/03/2012 at 11:20am - misc - by Apissedoffguy - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise. I stood up, took a moment to soak up some sunlight, and then spent the next hour too scared to go make my morning coffee, after my mother loudly moaned, "Ah yeah, give it to me, Woody!" from down the hall. FML

#19721854
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20630) - you deserved it (1462)

On 06/02/2012 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by huh (woman) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: