daniel1_1

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daniel1_1

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 29 November 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8822
  • Number of comments : 165
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About daniel1_1 : Yes, thats me in the picture. Im a high schooler in Fairfax County VA. I like swimming, running, tennis, kayaking, canoeing, backpacking, and shooting. I love to travel. My favorite places are probably Turkey and Kenya. GO TO THEM.

Thanks for reading this stalker.

daniel1_1's page activity

Visits<b>teejaycro</b> - 3 hours ago<b>aerisaphunk</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 11:10pm<b>Goat_E_mom</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 11:43am<b>bolee997</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 8:50pm<b>Maxwellminpin</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 11:47pm<b>Bibblejomin</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 9:47pm<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 3:16pm<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 3:16am<b>playhard_51</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 10:29am<b>xXBlakDayXx</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 12:59pm<b>dmcintosh</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 2:14pm<b>Kevejoe</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 4:35pm<b>snowflake6666</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 10:34pm<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 1:37pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 7:25pm<b>Duckzy</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 9:44pm<b>ILookAtFMLs</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 11:36am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 1:38am

Fucked!<b>Goat_E_mom</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 5:43pm

daniel1_1's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of daniel1_1's badges

daniel1_1's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching a video from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions, and I noticed that one of the boys in the film looked strangely like my dad when he was younger. After a little investigation, I now know that in his youth, my dad had a crippling masturbation problem. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2012 at 4:04pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy

Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2012 at 5:09pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my soon-to-be stepson, 13, decided that he and I needed to spend "more quality time" together. His idea? We should start "bonding" by taking a bath together. When I said no, he told me I was being unfair, and that if I really loved him, I'd do it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2012 at 4:21am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 12:17am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, my iPhone got back from being fixed. When I opened the box there was a note attached to my phone that said, "All you had to do was turn it on." FML

by ryanharp2 / 07/27/2012 at 1:05am / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2012 at 8:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML

by checkup / 07/14/2012 at 8:50pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and sister fooling around in the shower together. Supposedly, she was sleepwalking, and he was trying to wake her up. FML

by Anonymous / 07/04/2012 at 12:40pm / Canada (Prince Edward Island) / Intimacy

Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML

by needmorelocks / 07/03/2012 at 1:36am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML

by nobrony / 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was having a funny conversation with a guy I had met on Xbox. I told him the state I lived in, and he said, "Don't tell me that, I might stalk you." He wasn't kidding. He has somehow found out my phone number, and my address. He says he's going to send me flowers. FML

by ExplosiveDildo / 06/22/2012 at 9:08am / Afghanistan / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML

by Anonymous / 06/14/2012 at 4:59pm / United Kingdom (Croydon) / Health

Today, in a parking lot, a girl came up to our car and started to knock on the window and scream, "I KNEW IT!" My girlfriend doesn't believe that I don't know her. FML

by Apissedoffguy / 06/03/2012 at 11:20am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise. I stood up, took a moment to soak up some sunlight, and then spent the next hour too scared to go make my morning coffee, after my mother loudly moaned, "Ah yeah, give it to me, Woody!" from down the hall. FML

by huh / 06/02/2012 at 4:31pm / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Intimacy

Today, I almost got kidnapped. Again. FML

by gonavybeatarmy / 05/31/2012 at 1:28am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous