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Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole. I got it." in plain english. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11803) - you totally deserved it (167310)
On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had an elaborate plan to ask this girl to Prom, and it was going to take a few minutes to set up. I asked my friend to distract her. He decided to distract her by asking her to Prom. She said "Yes". FML
I agree, your life sucks (99557) - you totally deserved it (12155)
On 03/24/2009 at 11:41am - love - by Kaeyne (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66180) - you totally deserved it (17564)
On 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by SLA (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49272) - you totally deserved it (15410)
On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, when I walked into work all of my co-workers were giggling and asking "How was YOUR night last night?". Last night I had sex for the first time with someone I'm seeing secretly (with good reason). That person is my boss. He told everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52594) - you totally deserved it (19699)
On 03/23/2009 at 2:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I decided to start working out because my friends said I'm scrawny and weak. I bought an expensive giant container of protein powder to take before during work outs. I wasn't strong enough to open the lid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48538) - you totally deserved it (13907)
On 03/22/2009 at 12:53am - health - by TANT (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was in an elevator with my brother and a woman. He signs to me that she has a 'damn fine ass'. I chuckle and then shake my head. He shrugs. A second later the woman signs to us, 'Rick, don't you remember me?' Turns out she helped teach my brother sign language when he was six. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30833) - you totally deserved it (17066)
On 03/18/2009 at 3:59am - misc - by elevator-troubles (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)
Today, at a party I told this guy that I really liked his pirate costume. Turns out he wasn't wearing a costume, his eye was shot out with a bebe gun. This explains the eye patch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7549) - you totally deserved it (20263)
On 02/21/2009 at 9:33am - misc - by story of my life. - Switzerland (Zurich)
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