Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

danford80

Search for a member

danford80

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 23 December 1980 (33 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 203
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About danford80 : If ya ain't scared ask me!

danford80's page activity

Visits<b>baconguy98778</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 7:59pm

danford80's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

danford80's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a text from a girl I had slept with two nights ago. It read, "Please don't get mad if you notice a rash on your private parts. Sorry in advance." FML

#17655668
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23991) - you deserved it (37848)

On 09/03/2011 at 7:49pm - intimacy - by SterlingSilver91 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, this girl who has been stalking me for almost 7 months sent me a 12 page text comparing her love for me with her passion for cheese. FML

#17547922
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33559) - you deserved it (3237)

On 08/22/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by Say Cheese - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

#17457057
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39011) - you deserved it (4202)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:37am - love - by bTOhno - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, someone broke into my car just to steal the freshly baked cookies in the back seat. They also left a thank you note. FML

#17384157
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29036) - you deserved it (3340)

On 08/06/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by nomorecookies - United States (Missouri)

Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML

#17373472
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40087) - you deserved it (3226)

On 08/05/2011 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Creeped_out_n_stuck (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
505 comments

I agree, your life sucks (129976) - you deserved it (7319)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

#13318955
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68732) - you deserved it (7736)

On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML

#4606159
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70041) - you deserved it (8165)

On 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by ZSL (woman) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: