About daner10 : Just reading, and laughing.
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daner10's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML
by you+me-clothes=53>< / 11/19/2013 at 12:13pm / Austria (Wien) / Intimacy
Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML
by down trodden / 09/05/2013 at 3:45am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML
by dear god help me. / 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm / United States (Hawaii) / Work
by Rjlup / 06/11/2013 at 10:00am / United States (Colorado) / Animals
by notyourmom / 06/11/2013 at 8:00am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. 15 minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML
by Anonymous / 06/10/2013 at 11:23pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 6:34am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy
Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML
by halliemarie1818 / 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm / United States / Animals
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my "best friend" while I was away on vacation. She is now writing on her blog about how heartbreaking the whole situation is for her, and how she's "stuck in the middle of all this." FML
by sherrylynn / 04/19/2013 at 5:50pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by OPhere / 04/15/2013 at 3:37am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by ironies a b*tch / 04/13/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
by confusedcatlover / 04/06/2013 at 7:42am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 6:30am / United States (Texas) / Work
by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 5:22am / United States (New York) / Kids
by jll14 / 03/31/2013 at 6:27pm / Malaysia (Sabah) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…
- Today, I watched my boyfriend's band play a gig. I also found out he pulls the same faces playing… Today, I send a text message to my ex-boyfriend, who dumped me four months ago, telling him to come… Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex…