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dancinwookie

Offline (the 09/17/2014 at 6:23am) | Search for a member

dancinwookie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 February 1984 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6268
  • Number of comments : 245
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About dancinwookie : I'm a walking non-sequitur. I try to spread sunshine, so, please, don't piss on my parade. You can message me, but it might take me a little bit to respond. I love rainbows more than I can verbally express. Sometimes I give just the absolute worst advice on here, because the outcome that is playing in my head is beyond ridiculously funny. My humor is imagination based.

dancinwookie's page activity

Visits<b>jensensfuckbuddy</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 10:07am<b>I_Am_Lamp_</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 12:07am<b>CloudBustah</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 1:01am<b>Alikia96</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 3:11am<b>trellz17</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 12:51pm<b>totallybananas</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 4:04am<b>pinkpig23</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 3:47pm<b>AwkwardShoe</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:55pm<b>NachoYoda</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 10:48pm<b>TdotMaria</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 5:01pm<b>sonshadsil94</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 1:56pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 7:45pm<b>mohamed_H</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 10:23am<b>thatsawkward7</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 12:18pm<b>diesel_power</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 12:37am<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 12:13pm<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 11:08pm<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 11:30pm

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dancinwookie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML

#20698818
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81551) - you deserved it (5568)

On 06/01/2013 at 3:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, as I was getting out of my car, an old and obese lady walked up to me and called me an "inconsiderate heartless bitch" for using the last handicap parking spot. I guess she didn't see my wheelchair. FML

#20698730
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60417) - you deserved it (2970)

On 06/01/2013 at 2:21am - misc - by regstl - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65650) - you deserved it (18716)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML

#20698551
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57534) - you deserved it (4823)

On 06/01/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML

#20698016
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48079) - you deserved it (5937)

On 05/31/2013 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Guatemala (Guatemala)

Today, thanks to an idiotic, "hilariously edgy" advert that screened in the very early evening, my 6-year-old son keeps repeating the phrase "I want a vasectomy" to everyone he sees. I've never received so many dirty looks in my life. FML

#20697858
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37839) - you deserved it (4131)

On 05/31/2013 at 6:25pm - kids - by theybitchaboutgnomesbutnotthis?? (man) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML

#20681811
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41010) - you deserved it (3009)

On 05/23/2013 at 1:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Buzau)

Today, one of my closest friends informed me that she wasn't going to invite me to her wedding, because I'm too shy and not enough fun, and she doesn't want her 200 or so guests to feel uncomfortable. I was the one who set the happy couple up. FML

#20681501
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57674) - you deserved it (3866)

On 05/23/2013 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I have an upset stomach. Every other minute, it sounds like Chewbacca is screaming to get out. FML

#20675696
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35253) - you deserved it (4440)

On 05/20/2013 at 4:14pm - health - by pixkalexi - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my brother broke his mountain bike, so he stole mine, and managed to break it as well. Then he made some kind of franken-bike out of parts from both, and messed that one up too. FML

#20673285
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40993) - you deserved it (3373)

On 05/19/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by jfc, how just how (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML

#20673142
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49911) - you deserved it (7004)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML

#20673142
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49911) - you deserved it (7004)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I told my dad that I broke up with my first serious girlfriend. He responded by blaring sad breakup songs as loud as he could throughout the house, just to see me "cry like a bitch". FML

#20671425
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46057) - you deserved it (6912)

On 05/18/2013 at 6:33pm - love - by SteroidPenguin (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

#20671220
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45408) - you deserved it (4822)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML

#20662485
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98358) - you deserved it (5968)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)



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