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dancinwookie

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dancinwookie

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 February 1984 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5706
  • Number of comments : 244
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About dancinwookie : I'm a walking non-sequitur. I try to spread sunshine, so, please, don't piss on my parade. You can message me, but it might take me a little bit to respond. I love rainbows more than I can verbally express. Sometimes I give just the absolute worst advice on here, because the outcome that is playing in my head is beyond ridiculously funny. My humor is imagination based.

dancinwookie's page activity

Visits<b>mohamed_H</b> - 4 hours ago<b>thatsawkward7</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 12:18pm<b>diesel_power</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 12:37am<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 12:13pm<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 11:08pm<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 11:30pm<b>anothemy</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 7:01pm<b>Nate_mourar</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 8:11pm<b>flowerfliff</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 5:39pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 5:32pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 3:55pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 11:47am<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 12:09pm<b>lunar_star</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 9:09am<b>driftlobster</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 2:08am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 4:26pm<b>kaya1001</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 3:36pm<b>nunchux88</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 7:07am

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dancinwookie's favorite FMLs

Today, I held the door for an elderly woman. As she walked through, she looked at me and told me I was a very handsome man and that I should meet her grandson. The woman was my grandmother, and yes, I'm straight. FML

#20978372
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42030) - you deserved it (3124)

On 12/02/2013 at 4:15pm - misc - by rick - United States (Alabama)

Today, I called the police to report that my car had been keyed. I remember going to a bar last night and getting drunk. A surveillance camera revealed that after my drunken self couldn't unlock the door to my car, I punched the door and hurt my fist so bad that I keyed my own car. FML

#20977883
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18635) - you deserved it (49001)

On 12/02/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by car keyer (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She asked if the ring was a temporary thing until I got a better one, saw my dumbfounded face, then played it off as a joke and said yes. I later found out she'd posted on Facebook bitching about the ring, but with the privacy setting set to hide it from me. FML

#20975896
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54629) - you deserved it (4943)

On 11/30/2013 at 3:29pm - love - by fuckface? I wish (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML

#20966535
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44409) - you deserved it (3330)

On 11/22/2013 at 1:20am - kids - by spooked (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went with my boyfriend to his church youth group for the first time. I found out a girl there likes him, when she decided to pull me off him while we were hugging, and take my place. FML

#20903481
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42855) - you deserved it (2864)

On 10/01/2013 at 4:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my sex-crazed ex wrote me a letter so bad, it haunts me that I let a guy with such terrible grammar skills touch my boobs. FML

#20903082
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42092) - you deserved it (10417)

On 10/01/2013 at 6:47am - intimacy - by whatdoesitmatter (woman) - India (Tamil Nadu)

Today, my body-building addiction hit a whole new level when I begged my friend to sell me her breast milk. FML

Today, my parents surprised me by redecorating my room. I think they were more surprised by the box of naughty toys under my bed. FML

#20902324
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40057) - you deserved it (9902)

On 09/30/2013 at 6:41pm - intimacy - by A.Summers (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I discovered that I have caught head lice from my son. Unfortunately, they are living in my chest hair. FML

#20902262
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35392) - you deserved it (3383)

On 09/30/2013 at 5:59pm - health - by hairy (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I got proposed to. I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years and we have 2 kids. It was perfect, except it was my ex-boyfriend who proposed to me. FML

#20901818
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45253) - you deserved it (5393)

On 09/30/2013 at 10:47am - love - by courtnayy (woman) - United States

Today, I was stretching after a group run. I noticed one of the girls was having problems balancing, so I told her that I have horrible balance too, but that it'll get better. She sneered and said she had a brain tumor when she was a kid, and that's why she has such bad balance. FML

#20819891
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43948) - you deserved it (6218)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that my wife named our kids after her former lovers. We have two sons and a daughter. FML

#20819538
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48564) - you deserved it (4854)

On 08/03/2013 at 11:29pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

#20817265
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56711) - you deserved it (5513)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by um... what the fuck, miss? (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my mom confessed to loving my "little sister" more than she loves me. My "little sister" is the family dog. FML

#20808417
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48325) - you deserved it (3524)

On 07/28/2013 at 6:34pm - animals - by the un-loved child - United States (California)

Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to the self-check. I scanned the condoms, then a magazine and tried to put the condoms under the magazines to hide them. The store guy saw me, thought I was shoplifting and I was kicked out of the store. FML

#20801510
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38809) - you deserved it (14238)

On 07/24/2013 at 4:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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