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dancinwookie

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dancinwookie
  • Town/Country : You'd wanna be, Everywhere
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 February 1984 (30 years)
  • Number of visits : 4499
  • Number of comments : 241
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About dancinwookie : I'm a walking non-sequitur. I try to spread sunshine, so, please, don't piss on my parade. You can message me, but it might take me a little bit to respond. I love rainbows more than I can verbally express. Sometimes I give just the absolute worst advice on here, because the outcome that is playing in my head is beyond ridiculously funny. My humor is imagination based.

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dancinwookie's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss friend requested me on Facebook. My profile picture is of me licking his employee of the month picture for a dare. FML

#15796408
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9090) - you deserved it (43660)

On 04/15/2011 at 3:51pm - work - by asdfjkl (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

#15762337
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16030) - you deserved it (34308)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

#15749213
782 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61255) - you deserved it (12509)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:00am - intimacy - by Artic (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML

#15748072
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24544) - you deserved it (2252)

On 04/11/2011 at 11:07pm - health - by ILiveWithMorons (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML

#15703960
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32768) - you deserved it (7305)

On 04/09/2011 at 1:46am - intimacy - by fuundmental/// - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, is my birthday. Everyone forgot except my stalker. He rang the door bell the second it turned 12:00. FML

#15693187
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40217) - you deserved it (3456)

On 04/08/2011 at 11:03am - love - by hopeless -

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

#15539670
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41790) - you deserved it (14374)

On 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm - love - by ouch - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52825) - you deserved it (26717)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was cooking, and I took a pot of boiling water to the sink to drain. My pot holder slipped, and the boiling water spilled all over my breasts. Second degree boob burns are bad, but losing half a nipple to potato salad is worse. FML

#15526223
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37323) - you deserved it (3860)

On 03/28/2011 at 2:42am - health - by ouchmytits - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I discovered my boyfriend has been slipping me abortion pills to "supplement" my regular birth control. FML

#15525261
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42506) - you deserved it (4824)

On 03/28/2011 at 1:26am - love - by Username - United States (California)

Today, I saw my dad's friend across the street working on my neighbor's roof. To continue the airsoft war we'd been having I shot at him with the sniper gun I bought. I hit him, and he fell off the roof. I ran over to see if he was ok. It wasn't my dad's friend. FML

#15431141
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12158) - you deserved it (45494)

On 03/22/2011 at 12:31pm - misc - by FailedSniper (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at my wedding, my brother decided it would be funny to trip me as I was walking down the aisle, in front of hundreds of people. FML

#15395122
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47750) - you deserved it (3288)

On 03/20/2011 at 3:44am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was woken up by my 5 year old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her tooth brush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML

#15364230
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28421) - you deserved it (3570)

On 03/18/2011 at 5:25am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML

#15264127
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28111) - you deserved it (2813)

On 03/10/2011 at 4:42pm - love - by dumped (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML

#15264127
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28111) - you deserved it (2813)

On 03/10/2011 at 4:42pm - love - by dumped (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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