Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dancinwookie

Offline (the 09/17/2014 at 6:23am) | Search for a member

dancinwookie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 February 1984 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6301
  • Number of comments : 245
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About dancinwookie : I'm a walking non-sequitur. I try to spread sunshine, so, please, don't piss on my parade. You can message me, but it might take me a little bit to respond. I love rainbows more than I can verbally express. Sometimes I give just the absolute worst advice on here, because the outcome that is playing in my head is beyond ridiculously funny. My humor is imagination based.

dancinwookie's page activity

Visits<b>jensensfuckbuddy</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 10:07am<b>I_Am_Lamp_</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 12:07am<b>CloudBustah</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 1:01am<b>Alikia96</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 3:11am<b>trellz17</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 12:51pm<b>totallybananas</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 4:04am<b>pinkpig23</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 3:47pm<b>AwkwardShoe</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:55pm<b>NachoYoda</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 10:48pm<b>TdotMaria</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 5:01pm<b>sonshadsil94</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 1:56pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 7:45pm<b>mohamed_H</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 10:23am<b>thatsawkward7</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 12:18pm<b>diesel_power</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 12:37am<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 12:13pm<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 11:08pm<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 11:30pm

dancinwookie's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of dancinwookie's badges

dancinwookie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was so starved of human contact that I almost took up a transsexual hooker's offer of a "good time." Nothing wrong with that really, but they looked like a haunted tree dressed as Liza Minnelli. FML

#17675561
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10419) - you deserved it (20297)

On 09/05/2011 at 10:38pm - intimacy - by Username (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by covering my car with post-it notes that read "it's you not me." FML

#17673580
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25016) - you deserved it (3528)

On 09/05/2011 at 7:14pm - love - by rplovez (woman) - Canada

Today, my neighbor declared his love for me via "the medium of interpretative dance." FML

#17641775
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25696) - you deserved it (2851)

On 09/02/2011 at 2:54am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my neighbor declared his love for me via "the medium of interpretative dance." FML

#17641775
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25696) - you deserved it (2851)

On 09/02/2011 at 2:54am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML

#17627685
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15646) - you deserved it (53345)

On 08/31/2011 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I wrote "I love you" on my girlfriend's Facebook wall. She completely freaked out and accused me of being "too clingy" and that I'm starting to feel more like a stalker than a boyfriend. FML

#17589348
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30484) - you deserved it (7145)

On 08/26/2011 at 9:11pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a text message from a number I don't know saying "I'm sorry, but I'm cheating on you, I couldn't do this in person because you're ugly when you cry." I haven't had a relationship in 6 years and I still manage to get dumped. FML

#17584361
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35643) - you deserved it (2672)

On 08/26/2011 at 7:09am - love - by j_babydoll6520 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, life gave me lemons, delivering them straight to my nuts via my neighbor's tennis ball shooter. FML

#17573986
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24319) - you deserved it (2341)

On 08/25/2011 at 12:24am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend because he is tired of everyone giving him shit about my ginger hair. FML

#17517733
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40384) - you deserved it (6271)

On 08/19/2011 at 6:38am - love - by ginger (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

#17483730
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36884) - you deserved it (3460)

On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States

Today, I was presented with a bill for $27,601 by my single, alcoholic, deadbeat father. Why? "For having to raise your goddamn lazy ass." FML

#17350517
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33682) - you deserved it (2631)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:45am - money - by bigbill - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out my mother cleans the dishes with bathroom cleaning chemicals. She doesn't see anything wrong with this. FML

#17316744
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29636) - you deserved it (2285)

On 07/31/2011 at 2:18am - misc - by isucksomuch - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out my mother cleans the dishes with bathroom cleaning chemicals. She doesn't see anything wrong with this. FML

#17316744
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29636) - you deserved it (2285)

On 07/31/2011 at 2:18am - misc - by isucksomuch - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was doing swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your girlfriend's problems! Swim, bitch!" FML

#17233165
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41562) - you deserved it (5492) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/23/2011 at 7:52pm - love - by mathii - Sent from mobile version

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

#17109043
426 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30576) - you deserved it (89086)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: