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dancinwookie

Offline (the 09/17/2014 at 6:23am) | Search for a member

dancinwookie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 February 1984 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6258
  • Number of comments : 245
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About dancinwookie : I'm a walking non-sequitur. I try to spread sunshine, so, please, don't piss on my parade. You can message me, but it might take me a little bit to respond. I love rainbows more than I can verbally express. Sometimes I give just the absolute worst advice on here, because the outcome that is playing in my head is beyond ridiculously funny. My humor is imagination based.

dancinwookie's page activity

Visits<b>jensensfuckbuddy</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 10:07am<b>I_Am_Lamp_</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 12:07am<b>CloudBustah</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 1:01am<b>Alikia96</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 3:11am<b>trellz17</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 12:51pm<b>totallybananas</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 4:04am<b>pinkpig23</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 3:47pm<b>AwkwardShoe</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:55pm<b>NachoYoda</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 10:48pm<b>TdotMaria</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 5:01pm<b>sonshadsil94</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 1:56pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 7:45pm<b>mohamed_H</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 10:23am<b>thatsawkward7</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 12:18pm<b>diesel_power</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 12:37am<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 12:13pm<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 11:08pm<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 11:30pm

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dancinwookie's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, an overweight man riding an electric cart started peeing all around the store. I had to clean it up. FML

#18381890
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27681) - you deserved it (1951)

On 11/29/2011 at 12:34am - work - by kait - United States (New York)

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

#18378519
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24155) - you deserved it (5023)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:44pm - misc - by moopymoplady - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

#18374141
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28627) - you deserved it (8627)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:34am - misc - by Dani - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile, fighting back tears. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. FML

#18358033
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66604) - you deserved it (3226)

On 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm - love - by notsohappilyeverafter - United States (California)

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

#18338481
491 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45544) - you deserved it (4291)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by haunted (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my gynecologist told me that the ecosystem in my vagina is unbalanced, and that I have to do some reconstruction. Uhm what? FML

#18324369
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29156) - you deserved it (4544)

On 11/23/2011 at 4:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the first snow of the season fell. My husband celebrated by pelting me with snowballs, while I was on the toilet. FML

#18289580
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29925) - you deserved it (5855)

On 11/19/2011 at 2:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the first snow of the season fell. My husband celebrated by pelting me with snowballs, while I was on the toilet. FML

#18289580
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29925) - you deserved it (5855)

On 11/19/2011 at 2:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML

#18280377
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29068) - you deserved it (3747)

On 11/18/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by southernpride93 - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he suddenly pulls out and says, "Pull my penis." So I pulled his penis and he farted. Then he started doing it again. FML

#18260975
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36359) - you deserved it (6892)

On 11/16/2011 at 12:27am - intimacy - by halloweed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML

#18254436
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12532) - you deserved it (56867)

On 11/15/2011 at 10:16am - kids - by Margo (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

#18239656
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15082) - you deserved it (52622)

On 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm - misc - by shootme - Canada

Today, my daughter in law sent me another romantic text that was meant for her husband. Not only can't she spell for shit, the clichés she uses are horrifyingly embarrassing. The fact this keeps happening makes me want to slam her head in the oven. FML

#18229715
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27303) - you deserved it (4103)

On 11/12/2011 at 4:42pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I pulled too hard, because when I let go, her face smacked straight into the bedside table. FML

#18220908
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12231) - you deserved it (40485)

On 11/11/2011 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by Henry - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my boyfriend of five years was in a bad car crash, and ended up with a concussion. He didn't remember me. At all. But he remembered his other girlfriend he had cheated on me with for two months. FML

#18210187
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47445) - you deserved it (3453)

On 11/10/2011 at 1:22pm - love - by Nicoli - United States (Washington)



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