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dancinwookie

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dancinwookie

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 February 1984 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5343
  • Number of comments : 244
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About dancinwookie : I'm a walking non-sequitur. I try to spread sunshine, so, please, don't piss on my parade. You can message me, but it might take me a little bit to respond. I love rainbows more than I can verbally express. Sometimes I give just the absolute worst advice on here, because the outcome that is playing in my head is beyond ridiculously funny. My humor is imagination based.

dancinwookie's page activity

Visits<b>Nate_mourar</b> - yesterday at 8:11pm<b>flowerfliff</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 5:39pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 5:32pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 3:55pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 11:47am<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 12:09pm<b>lunar_star</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 9:09am<b>driftlobster</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 2:08am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 4:26pm<b>kaya1001</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 3:36pm<b>nunchux88</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 7:07am<b>MiracleJuice</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 6:26am<b>noobsatin</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 3:10am<b>TheNiceOne</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 10:16pm<b>FaultInMyStars</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 5:56pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 4:53pm<b>illegalbeagle69</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 3:27pm<b>gjikvtj</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:48pm

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dancinwookie's favorite FMLs

Today, my plans for having sex with my girlfriend were thwarted for the sixth time in a row by my own mother. I found out later that she's been reading my texts so she knew when to drop by and ruin everything. FML

#21035329
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46271) - you deserved it (8304)

On 01/21/2014 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by MM - United States (Maine)

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

#21033101
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44359) - you deserved it (5877)

On 01/19/2014 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by Subliminal message (woman) - Switzerland

Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML

#21031998
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34310) - you deserved it (56017)

On 01/18/2014 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

#21025946
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52316) - you deserved it (31865)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML

#21025933
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30370) - you deserved it (37574)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML

#21025897
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50342) - you deserved it (6332)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:00pm - health - by foreveralone - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

#21019316
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46432) - you deserved it (15978)

On 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm - animals - by Z3R0G5 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up from a short nap, only to find two waxing strips stuck to my eyebrows. I now have very little of my eyebrows remaining, and just as little idea which idiot in my family pulled this stupid excuse of a prank. FML

#21017976
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38780) - you deserved it (4447)

On 01/05/2014 at 3:39pm - misc - by I will find you and I will fucking fuck y (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I was at a basketball game. Sitting in the bleachers, I looked over at my friend and said, "Number 33 has a really cute butt." The man in front of us turned around, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "Thanks." Number 33's dad was a very proud father. FML

#21017330
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44969) - you deserved it (11735)

On 01/05/2014 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday. She had to go to the toilet while there, and when she came back, she was crying. When I asked why, she said "I'm on my period!" and sobbed loudly in front of everyone that we couldn't have birthday sex. FML

#21016986
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57610) - you deserved it (6156)

On 01/04/2014 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was dressing in front of my boyfriend. He was looking at me in wonder and I assumed this was a good thing. Then he muttered, "God damn, you're awkwardly shaped." FML

#21011563
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38242) - you deserved it (2911)

On 12/31/2013 at 12:47pm - misc - by awkword (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I have to take time off from work to take part in an intervention because my sister's obsession with the guy from Harry Potter has crossed over into illegality. FML

#21009908
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37635) - you deserved it (2973)

On 12/29/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by LeaveHimAlone (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I discovered my mom has been using my credit card to buy everyone's Christmas presents. FML

#20995385
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40487) - you deserved it (2611)

On 12/17/2013 at 12:02am - money - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my OCD has got so bad that I took over 10 pictures of my house's power outlets before leaving, just so I could view them later to reassure myself that no appliances were plugged in. FML



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