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dancinwookie

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dancinwookie

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 February 1984 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7109
  • Number of comments : 245
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About dancinwookie : I'm a walking non-sequitur. I try to spread sunshine, so, please, don't piss on my parade. You can message me, but it might take me a little bit to respond. I love rainbows more than I can verbally express. Sometimes I give just the absolute worst advice on here, because the outcome that is playing in my head is beyond ridiculously funny. My humor is imagination based.

dancinwookie's page activity

Visits<b>tiberhits</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 4:31am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 12:19am<b>NJSchreck</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 4:12pm<b>jensensfuckbuddy</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 10:07am<b>I_Am_Lamp_</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 12:07am<b>CloudBustah</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 1:01am<b>Alikia96</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 3:11am<b>trellz17</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 12:51pm<b>totallybananas</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 4:04am<b>pinkpig23</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 3:47pm<b>AwkwardShoe</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:55pm<b>NachoYoda</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 10:48pm<b>TdotMaria</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 5:01pm<b>sonshadsil94</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 1:56pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 7:45pm<b>mohamed_H</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 10:23am<b>thatsawkward7</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 12:18pm<b>diesel_power</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 12:37am

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dancinwookie's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm a 34 year old male who just got given the sex talk on my Facebook timeline by my senile mother. 5ML

#21038727
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46802) - you deserved it (5159)

On 01/24/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mum decided that having the flu and being too lazy to go upstairs to the bathroom is a valid excuse to shit in a jug instead. 5ML

#21038402
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40063) - you deserved it (3182)

On 01/24/2014 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, my university professor admitted to sometimes just winging it when she's teaching. "Yeah," she said, "sometimes I just don't get this stuff either." No wonder I'm failing. 5ML

#21038371
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42517) - you deserved it (3544)

On 01/24/2014 at 3:33pm - misc - by Profucktardor (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my girlfriend told me the reason why my credit card mysteriously maxed out 2 months ago 'might have been' because she posted a picture of it on Facebook. I ordered a new credit card without the custom picture of us immediately. She broke up with me. FML

#21035364
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51409) - you deserved it (5652)

On 01/21/2014 at 6:59pm - love - by FacebookStrikesAgain (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my plans for having sex with my girlfriend were thwarted for the sixth time in a row by my own mother. I found out later that she's been reading my texts so she knew when to drop by and ruin everything. FML

#21035329
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51385) - you deserved it (10121)

On 01/21/2014 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by MM - United States (Maine)

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

#21033101
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48464) - you deserved it (7548)

On 01/19/2014 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by Subliminal message (woman) - Switzerland

Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML

#21031998
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34922) - you deserved it (56859)

On 01/18/2014 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

#21025946
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53546) - you deserved it (32464)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML

#21025933
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31759) - you deserved it (39412)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML

#21025897
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51935) - you deserved it (6521)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:00pm - health - by foreveralone - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

#21019316
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49435) - you deserved it (17616)

On 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm - animals - by Z3R0G5 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up from a short nap, only to find two waxing strips stuck to my eyebrows. I now have very little of my eyebrows remaining, and just as little idea which idiot in my family pulled this stupid excuse of a prank. FML

#21017976
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39465) - you deserved it (4528)

On 01/05/2014 at 3:39pm - misc - by I will find you and I will fucking fuck y (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I was at a basketball game. Sitting in the bleachers, I looked over at my friend and said, "Number 33 has a really cute butt." The man in front of us turned around, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "Thanks." Number 33's dad was a very proud father. FML

#21017330
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46777) - you deserved it (12669)

On 01/05/2014 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday. She had to go to the toilet while there, and when she came back, she was crying. When I asked why, she said "I'm on my period!" and sobbed loudly in front of everyone that we couldn't have birthday sex. FML

#21016986
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58576) - you deserved it (6234)

On 01/04/2014 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



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