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dancinwookie

Offline (the 05/09/2015 at 1:32am) | Search for a member

dancinwookie

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 February 1984 (31 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 10905
  • Number of comments : 246
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About dancinwookie : I'm a walking non-sequitur. I try to spread sunshine, so, please, don't piss on my parade. You can message me, but it might take me a little bit to respond. I love rainbows more than I can verbally express. Sometimes I give just the absolute worst advice on here, because the outcome that is playing in my head is beyond ridiculously funny. My humor is imagination based.

dancinwookie's page activity

Visits<b>buckstop1</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 9:58am<b>WelshLeachy</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 5:57am<b>pete9913</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 9:55am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 2:47am<b>kittykat1501</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 12:17pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 12:57pm<b>sky413</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 12:26am<b>KhazKhazz</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 5:42pm<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 2:57pm<b>UkeSenpai</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 3:34am<b>potionowl</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 3:22am<b>fakedsincerity</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 7:51pm<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 12:51pm<b>exitium16</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 9:14am<b>alwaysstabbing</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 5:27am<b>hippodankamus</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 8:48pm<b>melisssa87</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 7:55pm<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 8:28pm

Fucked!<b>kittykat1501</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 6:17pm<b>bugmenotmofo</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 5:03pm<b>fakedsincerity</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 1:52am<b>hippodankamus</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 2:48am<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 1:42am

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dancinwookie's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML

#18540980
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33484) - you deserved it (2607)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by scammed - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out the hard way what it sounds like when you take the first letter of my first name, A, and put it with my last name, Hole. FML

#18533442
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25248) - you deserved it (3600)

On 12/17/2011 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

Today, I went to eat the orange I'd brought to work, but couldn't find it. After minutes searching, I found it. Nailed to the ceiling. FML

#18517264
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27901) - you deserved it (2722)

On 12/15/2011 at 1:57am - work - by Username - United States (California)

Today, after getting rear ended by a car, I texted my husband to let him know I was in the hospital. His response? "I'm at Taco Bell." FML

#18515573
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29589) - you deserved it (3088)

On 12/14/2011 at 10:34pm - misc - by Mariah Heimann - United States (Illinois)

Today, after my roommate decided to become a vegetarian, her new food choices are making her pass deadly, nauseating gas all night. We have a busted window that won't open. I'm afraid I may not live to see tomorrow morning. FML

#18467127
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29410) - you deserved it (2377)

On 12/09/2011 at 7:23am - misc - by pinkleopleurodon - United States

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12119) - you deserved it (91677)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

#18464488
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8443) - you deserved it (74179)

On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

#18439975
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15789) - you deserved it (41698)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I noticed that my facial hair had grown by an acceptable amount. I spoke to my Dad and decided to show him, thinking he would approve of my manliness. His exact words when I showed him were, "Nah, son. You just look like a lesbian." FML

#18439868
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26678) - you deserved it (5249)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

#18406735
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46573) - you deserved it (3512)

On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

#18404973
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42465) - you deserved it (9838)

On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)

Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML

#18393059
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30862) - you deserved it (3681)

On 11/30/2011 at 9:57am - love - by preggers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my fiancé insists that instead of kissing at the crucial moment of our wedding ceremony, we should give each other a high five. FML

#18392410
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40516) - you deserved it (5632)

On 11/30/2011 at 6:17am - love - by no low five (woman) - United States

Today, I went to a nursing home to sing Christmas carols to the elderly. They threw their bananas at me. FML

#18383706
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28032) - you deserved it (6212)

On 11/29/2011 at 7:42am - work - by robincakes94 - United States



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