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dancinwookie

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dancinwookie

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 February 1984 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5357
  • Number of comments : 244
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About dancinwookie : I'm a walking non-sequitur. I try to spread sunshine, so, please, don't piss on my parade. You can message me, but it might take me a little bit to respond. I love rainbows more than I can verbally express. Sometimes I give just the absolute worst advice on here, because the outcome that is playing in my head is beyond ridiculously funny. My humor is imagination based.

dancinwookie's page activity

Visits<b>Nate_mourar</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 8:11pm<b>flowerfliff</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 5:39pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 5:32pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 3:55pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 11:47am<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 12:09pm<b>lunar_star</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 9:09am<b>driftlobster</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 2:08am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 4:26pm<b>kaya1001</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 3:36pm<b>nunchux88</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 7:07am<b>MiracleJuice</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 6:26am<b>noobsatin</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 3:10am<b>TheNiceOne</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 10:16pm<b>FaultInMyStars</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 5:56pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 4:53pm<b>illegalbeagle69</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 3:27pm<b>gjikvtj</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:48pm

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dancinwookie's favorite FMLs

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
175 comments

Today, I went to eat the orange I'd brought to work, but couldn't find it. After minutes searching, I found it. Nailed to the ceiling. FML

#18517264
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24369) - you deserved it (2422)

On 12/15/2011 at 1:57am - work - by Username - United States (California)

Today, after getting rear ended by a car, I texted my husband to let him know I was in the hospital. His response? "I'm at Taco Bell." FML

#18515573
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24754) - you deserved it (2672)

On 12/14/2011 at 10:34pm - misc - by Mariah Heimann - United States (Illinois)

Today, after my roommate decided to become a vegetarian, her new food choices are making her pass deadly, nauseating gas all night. We have a busted window that won't open. I'm afraid I may not live to see tomorrow morning. FML

#18467127
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25501) - you deserved it (2068)

On 12/09/2011 at 7:23am - misc - by pinkleopleurodon - United States

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10506) - you deserved it (85846)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

#18464488
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7377) - you deserved it (69253)

On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

#18439975
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13401) - you deserved it (37229)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I noticed that my facial hair had grown by an acceptable amount. I spoke to my Dad and decided to show him, thinking he would approve of my manliness. His exact words when I showed him were, "Nah, son. You just look like a lesbian." FML

#18439868
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24230) - you deserved it (4917)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

#18406735
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42941) - you deserved it (3215)

On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

#18404973
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39195) - you deserved it (9316)

On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)

Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML

#18393059
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25970) - you deserved it (3224)

On 11/30/2011 at 9:57am - love - by preggers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my fiancé insists that instead of kissing at the crucial moment of our wedding ceremony, we should give each other a high five. FML

#18392410
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33827) - you deserved it (4352)

On 11/30/2011 at 6:17am - love - by no low five (woman) - United States

Today, I went to a nursing home to sing Christmas carols to the elderly. They threw their bananas at me. FML

#18383706
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21229) - you deserved it (4442)

On 11/29/2011 at 7:42am - work - by robincakes94 - United States

Today, at work, an overweight man riding an electric cart started peeing all around the store. I had to clean it up. FML

#18381890
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27344) - you deserved it (1913)

On 11/29/2011 at 12:34am - work - by kait - United States (New York)

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

#18378519
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23780) - you deserved it (4982)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:44pm - misc - by moopymoplady - Canada (Ontario)



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