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dancinwookie

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dancinwookie

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 February 1984 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5455
  • Number of comments : 244
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About dancinwookie : I'm a walking non-sequitur. I try to spread sunshine, so, please, don't piss on my parade. You can message me, but it might take me a little bit to respond. I love rainbows more than I can verbally express. Sometimes I give just the absolute worst advice on here, because the outcome that is playing in my head is beyond ridiculously funny. My humor is imagination based.

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dancinwookie's favorite FMLs

Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML

#18845928
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37758) - you deserved it (6072)

On 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by MakesMeLol (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I had a band concert and my mum got kicked out. She screamed "BORING!" in the middle of it. FML

#18803837
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25698) - you deserved it (2971)

On 01/14/2012 at 8:34am - misc - by katie876 (woman) - United States

Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML

#18778372
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13902) - you deserved it (43170)

On 01/11/2012 at 7:49pm - misc - by ThatOneGirl646 - United States (Michigan)

Today, after 3 hours in a cramped car with my family, we stopped at a gas station. I got out of the car and the first words out of my mouth were, "It feels so good to be able to walk!" That's when I noticed the elderly man sitting in a wheelchair only a few meters away. FML

#18742973
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34383) - you deserved it (10547)

On 01/08/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by VerbalDiarrhea (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my mother thought it would be a good idea to tell me that I was conceived on an airplane toilet. FML

#18728247
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30127) - you deserved it (2631)

On 01/06/2012 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Gemma - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

#18716043
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32603) - you deserved it (9075)

On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

#18703291
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31619) - you deserved it (27359)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was pushed over and robbed in a parking lot by a man in an ugly Christmas sweater. When I looked up, I was too distracted by the sweater to even look at his face. FML

#18681564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26346) - you deserved it (7811)

On 01/02/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my wife was about to take a shower, when she called me into the bathroom. She stripped me off and pulled me in with her. As I started to get into it, she sighed, "Thank god. You really needed a shower." FML

#18663523
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10068) - you deserved it (34542)

On 12/31/2011 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by mark - United States

Today, I learned if you've slept with your soon to be step-brother you should tell your family. If you don't, he may blurt it out while drunk at a family barbecue. FML

#18594969
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15540) - you deserved it (38618)

On 12/24/2011 at 1:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on my daughter eating a handful of styrofoam packing pellets, because she thought they were Christmas candy. She's fourteen. What's next, eating rocks? FML

#18588984
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25872) - you deserved it (4311)

On 12/23/2011 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I said something grammatically wrong during it. He chose to correct it. FML

#18568615
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18040) - you deserved it (27535)

On 12/21/2011 at 7:30am - intimacy - by Nicki (woman) - Canada

Today, it was my first day working as a nightclub bartender. All through the evening, a really creepy bloke stood in a dark corner and leered at the girls on the dance floor. When I took the bouncer to one side to let him know, he told me the man was a coat stand. FML

#18554140
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11430) - you deserved it (28672)

On 12/19/2011 at 3:57pm - work - by Bob smith (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML

#18540980
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30855) - you deserved it (2395)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by scammed - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out the hard way what it sounds like when you take the first letter of my first name, A, and put it with my last name, Hole. FML

#18533442
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22601) - you deserved it (3304)

On 12/17/2011 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) -



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