About dancinwookie : I'm a walking non-sequitur. I try to spread sunshine, so, please, don't piss on my parade. You can message me, but it might take me a little bit to respond. I love rainbows more than I can verbally express. Sometimes I give just the absolute worst advice on here, because the outcome that is playing in my head is beyond ridiculously funny. My humor is imagination based.
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dancinwookie's favorite FMLs
by me / 01/24/2012 at 10:40pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
by MakesMeLol / 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous
by katie876 / 01/14/2012 at 8:34am / United States / Miscellaneous
by ThatOneGirl646 / 01/11/2012 at 7:49pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, after 3 hours in a cramped car with my family, we stopped at a gas station. I got out of the car and the first words out of my mouth were, "It feels so good to be able to walk!" That's when I noticed the elderly man sitting in a wheelchair only a few meters away. FML
by VerbalDiarrhea / 01/08/2012 at 2:34am / United States (Nevada) / Transportation
by Gemma / 01/06/2012 at 6:16pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Intimacy
Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML
by lorahayes / 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/04/2012 at 1:43am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 12:40am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife was about to take a shower, when she called me into the bathroom. She stripped me off and pulled me in with her. As I started to get into it, she sighed, "Thank god. You really needed a shower." FML
by mark / 12/31/2011 at 12:40pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/24/2011 at 1:06am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/23/2011 at 1:23pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
by Nicki / 12/21/2011 at 7:30am / Canada / Intimacy
Today, it was my first day working as a nightclub bartender. All through the evening, a really creepy bloke stood in a dark corner and leered at the girls on the dance floor. When I took the bouncer to one side to let him know, he told me the man was a coat stand. FML
by Bob smith / 12/19/2011 at 3:57pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML
by scammed / 12/18/2011 at 12:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…