About dancinwookie : I'm a walking non-sequitur. I try to spread sunshine, so, please, don't piss on my parade. You can message me, but it might take me a little bit to respond. I love rainbows more than I can verbally express. Sometimes I give just the absolute worst advice on here, because the outcome that is playing in my head is beyond ridiculously funny. My humor is imagination based.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29358) - you deserved it (5428) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I decided to get back into shape. I went for a jog around my neighborhood. The ice cream truck followed me for my whole jog, mocking me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25818) - you deserved it (2855)
On 09/09/2011 at 9:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I went to Walmart with my Dad, and he decided to kick me in the butt while I was walking. When I went to kick him back, I hit my own leg out from beneath myself and landed on my face. The most embarrassing thing was that the people who saw all started clapping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15524) - you deserved it (8619)
On 09/09/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Krystyn Gareau - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6154) - you deserved it (44304)
On 09/08/2011 at 6:00am - health - by Stuck (man) - United States
Today, I missed my bus, so I walked home in the rain from school, only to realize my mom had been following me the whole time in the car, laughing her ass off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30482) - you deserved it (2995)
On 09/07/2011 at 7:53pm - misc - by me - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I got junk punched by a midget in Sears for giving him "a funny look." I was trying to read the price of the fridge he was standing in front of. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21252) - you deserved it (2124)
On 09/06/2011 at 9:14pm - misc - by b3ardown23 - United States
Today, I was so starved of human contact that I almost took up a transsexual hooker's offer of a "good time." Nothing wrong with that really, but they looked like a haunted tree dressed as Liza Minnelli. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8465) - you deserved it (16682)
On 09/05/2011 at 10:38pm - intimacy - by Username (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by covering my car with post-it notes that read "it's you not me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19774) - you deserved it (2531)
On 09/05/2011 at 7:14pm - love - by rplovez (woman) - Canada
Today, my neighbor declared his love for me via "the medium of interpretative dance." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21220) - you deserved it (2484)
On 09/02/2011 at 2:54am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my neighbor declared his love for me via "the medium of interpretative dance." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21220) - you deserved it (2484)
On 09/02/2011 at 2:54am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12935) - you deserved it (46897)
On 08/31/2011 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, I wrote "I love you" on my girlfriend's Facebook wall. She completely freaked out and accused me of being "too clingy" and that I'm starting to feel more like a stalker than a boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24744) - you deserved it (5250)
On 08/26/2011 at 9:11pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I got a text message from a number I don't know saying "I'm sorry, but I'm cheating on you, I couldn't do this in person because you're ugly when you cry." I haven't had a relationship in 6 years and I still manage to get dumped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29800) - you deserved it (1946)
On 08/26/2011 at 7:09am - love - by j_babydoll6520 - Australia (Victoria)
Today, life gave me lemons, delivering them straight to my nuts via my neighbor's tennis ball shooter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18936) - you deserved it (1638)
On 08/25/2011 at 12:24am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend because he is tired of everyone giving him shit about my ginger hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35284) - you deserved it (5843)
On 08/19/2011 at 6:38am - love - by ginger (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Monday 17 June 2013
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