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dancinwookie

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dancinwookie
  • Town/Country : You'd wanna be, Everywhere
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 February 1984 (30 years)
  • Number of visits : 4429
  • Number of comments : 241
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About dancinwookie : I'm a walking non-sequitur. I try to spread sunshine, so, please, don't piss on my parade. You can message me, but it might take me a little bit to respond. I love rainbows more than I can verbally express. Sometimes I give just the absolute worst advice on here, because the outcome that is playing in my head is beyond ridiculously funny. My humor is imagination based.

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dancinwookie's favorite FMLs

Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML

#19109077
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19349) - you deserved it (1729)

On 02/18/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by district12 (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

#19059244
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9310) - you deserved it (71957)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States

Today, while I was going to the bathroom, my engagement ring fell off into the toilet, which then automatically flushed. FML

#19017910
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27219) - you deserved it (3251)

On 02/07/2012 at 12:49pm - misc - by joy - United States

Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML

#18913819
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25950) - you deserved it (3665)

On 01/26/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by RequilaRainbow - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I attended an elderly man's funeral. As I approached the casket his wife said, "Thank you for coming." I replied with, "No, thank you." FML

#18903193
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9018) - you deserved it (24050)

On 01/24/2012 at 10:40pm - misc - by me - Canada

Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML

#18845928
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31835) - you deserved it (4595)

On 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by MakesMeLol (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I had a band concert and my mum got kicked out. She screamed "BORING!" in the middle of it. FML

#18803837
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24285) - you deserved it (2865)

On 01/14/2012 at 8:34am - misc - by katie876 (woman) - United States

Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML

#18778372
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13176) - you deserved it (41616)

On 01/11/2012 at 7:49pm - misc - by ThatOneGirl646 - United States (Michigan)

Today, after 3 hours in a cramped car with my family, we stopped at a gas station. I got out of the car and the first words out of my mouth were, "It feels so good to be able to walk!" That's when I noticed the elderly man sitting in a wheelchair only a few meters away. FML

#18742973
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32401) - you deserved it (10001)

On 01/08/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by VerbalDiarrhea (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my mother thought it would be a good idea to tell me that I was conceived on an airplane toilet. FML

#18728247
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26554) - you deserved it (2378)

On 01/06/2012 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Gemma - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

#18716043
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30106) - you deserved it (8628)

On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

#18703291
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26538) - you deserved it (20627)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was pushed over and robbed in a parking lot by a man in an ugly Christmas sweater. When I looked up, I was too distracted by the sweater to even look at his face. FML

#18681564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25193) - you deserved it (7587)

On 01/02/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my wife was about to take a shower, when she called me into the bathroom. She stripped me off and pulled me in with her. As I started to get into it, she sighed, "Thank god. You really needed a shower." FML

#18663523
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8031) - you deserved it (24927)

On 12/31/2011 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by mark - United States

Today, I learned if you've slept with your soon to be step-brother you should tell your family. If you don't, he may blurt it out while drunk at a family barbecue. FML

#18594969
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14628) - you deserved it (37001)

On 12/24/2011 at 1:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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