About dancinwookie : I'm a walking non-sequitur. I try to spread sunshine, so, please, don't piss on my parade. You can message me, but it might take me a little bit to respond. I love rainbows more than I can verbally express. Sometimes I give just the absolute worst advice on here, because the outcome that is playing in my head is beyond ridiculously funny. My humor is imagination based.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24716) - you deserved it (3419)
On 03/03/2012 at 8:23am - intimacy - by virginkiller (man) - Singapore
Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19716) - you deserved it (1628)
On 02/20/2012 at 9:15pm - misc - by Carpet cleaner (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18822) - you deserved it (1706)
On 02/18/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by district12 (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7824) - you deserved it (53888)
On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States
Today, while I was going to the bathroom, my engagement ring fell off into the toilet, which then automatically flushed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26594) - you deserved it (3216)
On 02/07/2012 at 12:49pm - misc - by joy - United States
Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22400) - you deserved it (2863)
On 01/26/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by RequilaRainbow - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I attended an elderly man's funeral. As I approached the casket his wife said, "Thank you for coming." I replied with, "No, thank you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8166) - you deserved it (21715)
Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31182) - you deserved it (4555)
On 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by MakesMeLol (man) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I had a band concert and my mum got kicked out. She screamed "BORING!" in the middle of it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20834) - you deserved it (2216)
On 01/14/2012 at 8:34am - misc - by katie876 (woman) - United States
Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10883) - you deserved it (31398)
On 01/11/2012 at 7:49pm - misc - by ThatOneGirl646 - United States (Michigan)
Today, after 3 hours in a cramped car with my family, we stopped at a gas station. I got out of the car and the first words out of my mouth were, "It feels so good to be able to walk!" That's when I noticed the elderly man sitting in a wheelchair only a few meters away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29283) - you deserved it (9393)
On 01/08/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by VerbalDiarrhea (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, my mother thought it would be a good idea to tell me that I was conceived on an airplane toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24354) - you deserved it (1930)
On 01/06/2012 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Gemma - United Kingdom (Lancashire)
Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26976) - you deserved it (6981)
On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25940) - you deserved it (20259)
On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was pushed over and robbed in a parking lot by a man in an ugly Christmas sweater. When I looked up, I was too distracted by the sweater to even look at his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21243) - you deserved it (5827)
On 01/02/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Monday 17 June 2013
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