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dancinwookie

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dancinwookie

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 February 1984 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5417
  • Number of comments : 244
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About dancinwookie : I'm a walking non-sequitur. I try to spread sunshine, so, please, don't piss on my parade. You can message me, but it might take me a little bit to respond. I love rainbows more than I can verbally express. Sometimes I give just the absolute worst advice on here, because the outcome that is playing in my head is beyond ridiculously funny. My humor is imagination based.

dancinwookie's page activity

Visits<b>anothemy</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 7:01pm<b>Nate_mourar</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 8:11pm<b>flowerfliff</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 5:39pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 5:32pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 3:55pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 11:47am<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 12:09pm<b>lunar_star</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 9:09am<b>driftlobster</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 2:08am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 4:26pm<b>kaya1001</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 3:36pm<b>nunchux88</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 7:07am<b>MiracleJuice</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 6:26am<b>noobsatin</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 3:10am<b>TheNiceOne</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 10:16pm<b>FaultInMyStars</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 5:56pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 4:53pm<b>illegalbeagle69</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 3:27pm

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dancinwookie's favorite FMLs

Today, my elbow was having cramps and movement issues as a result of an old set of surgical pins and wires that are being rejected by my body. One painful twitch caused my arm to lock out straight, unintentionally slapping my hand into my co-worker's crotch. Our waiting customers giggled. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML

#20186465
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41820) - you deserved it (6601)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:54am - intimacy - by me. - United States

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

#20174027
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22234) - you deserved it (1515)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm - work - by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

#20174027
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22234) - you deserved it (1515)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm - work - by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

#20174027
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22234) - you deserved it (1515)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm - work - by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML

#20171802
166 comments

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

#20170605
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13277) - you deserved it (31434)

On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my daughter had a meltdown when I told her I donated some of her old toys to Goodwill. It turns out Toy Story has taught her that toys have feelings and that she has a meaningful relationship with them. She's in her teens. FML

#20167023
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14428) - you deserved it (22852)

On 11/17/2012 at 5:31pm - kids - by susan (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my daughter had a meltdown when I told her I donated some of her old toys to Goodwill. It turns out Toy Story has taught her that toys have feelings and that she has a meaningful relationship with them. She's in her teens. FML

#20167023
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14428) - you deserved it (22852)

On 11/17/2012 at 5:31pm - kids - by susan (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my crush finally agreed to spend the night with me. I told my parents to act normal for one night. Apparently, "normal" is strutting around naked and acting like a chicken. FML

#20166401
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25349) - you deserved it (5314)

On 11/17/2012 at 8:34am - love - by schooyou101 - United States (Kansas)

Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML

#20165849
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27304) - you deserved it (5318)

On 11/16/2012 at 8:06pm - work - by wow @ creepy fuckers (man) - United States

Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML

#20165039
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18088) - you deserved it (2514)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by spaceforrent - United States

Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML

#20162883
273 comments

Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML

#20162883
273 comments

Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML

#20161557
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19565) - you deserved it (1944)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:00am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)



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