About dancinwookie : I'm a walking non-sequitur. I try to spread sunshine, so, please, don't piss on my parade. You can message me, but it might take me a little bit to respond. I love rainbows more than I can verbally express. Sometimes I give just the absolute worst advice on here, because the outcome that is playing in my head is beyond ridiculously funny. My humor is imagination based.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25836) - you deserved it (2430)
On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16590) - you deserved it (3272)
On 10/08/2012 at 9:55pm - love - by hnickell93 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17488) - you deserved it (2594)
On 09/12/2012 at 3:03am - kids - by AGeeksWife (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I had to go into the school for the third time this week because my son is claiming he's on bath salts and biting all his classmates. My son is 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16926) - you deserved it (1907)
On 09/07/2012 at 1:08am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was refused employment at a liquor store. Their reason? I'm a regular customer and they're afraid I'll drink all their profits. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6311) - you deserved it (10494)
On 09/06/2012 at 8:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was refused employment at a liquor store. Their reason? I'm a regular customer and they're afraid I'll drink all their profits. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6311) - you deserved it (10494)
On 09/06/2012 at 8:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27110) - you deserved it (1361)
On 08/30/2012 at 8:58am - misc - by Sarah - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27110) - you deserved it (1361)
On 08/30/2012 at 8:58am - misc - by Sarah - United States (New York)
Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27844) - you deserved it (1903)
On 08/30/2012 at 1:55am - misc - by DamnTornadoAlley - United States (Texas)
Today, I got married. My booze-hound mother made a toast, and told a story about how she once walked in on us having sex. My husband's family is very religious, and we told them we weren't having sex until marriage. Thanks mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21177) - you deserved it (6727)
On 08/28/2012 at 1:08am - intimacy - by gotta love my momma - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I turned on the TV just in time to see my picture on the news. I have no idea what they said about me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23249) - you deserved it (1724)
On 08/27/2012 at 2:45am - misc - by masterman - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I got into an argument with my girlfriend over how many sides a triangle has. I actually ended up drawing her a diagram. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18296) - you deserved it (2714)
On 08/19/2012 at 1:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31224) - you deserved it (1493)
On 08/18/2012 at 1:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I decided to be nice and pay a social visit to my slightly deranged grandpa. I ended up politely sitting through two hours of him lecturing me on how he "invented the modern tap", then on how sex is an Illuminati invention to "give sluts the STDs they need to kill us all". FML
I agree, your life sucks (12137) - you deserved it (1085)
On 08/03/2012 at 7:50pm - misc - by yeah okay then (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12943) - you deserved it (8537)
On 08/03/2012 at 3:28pm - misc - by squeltorey (man) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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