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dancinwookie

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dancinwookie

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 February 1984 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5340
  • Number of comments : 244
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About dancinwookie : I'm a walking non-sequitur. I try to spread sunshine, so, please, don't piss on my parade. You can message me, but it might take me a little bit to respond. I love rainbows more than I can verbally express. Sometimes I give just the absolute worst advice on here, because the outcome that is playing in my head is beyond ridiculously funny. My humor is imagination based.

dancinwookie's page activity

Visits<b>Nate_mourar</b> - yesterday at 8:11pm<b>flowerfliff</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 5:39pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 5:32pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 3:55pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 11:47am<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 12:09pm<b>lunar_star</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 9:09am<b>driftlobster</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 2:08am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 4:26pm<b>kaya1001</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 3:36pm<b>nunchux88</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 7:07am<b>MiracleJuice</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 6:26am<b>noobsatin</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 3:10am<b>TheNiceOne</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 10:16pm<b>FaultInMyStars</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 5:56pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 4:53pm<b>illegalbeagle69</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 3:27pm<b>gjikvtj</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:48pm

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dancinwookie's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned it's a bad idea to text and smoke while drunk, because there is an increased risk of throwing your phone off the balcony and sticking your cigarette into your pocket. FML

#20485916
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11153) - you deserved it (52730)

On 01/30/2013 at 5:13am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my roommate has been switching my protein powder with chocolate milk mix and brown sugar. Since I work out frequently, I've been consuming large amounts of this and have gained at least 10 pounds of fat. His reason? I turned his bookbag inside out. Once. FML

#20485077
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28782) - you deserved it (8030)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:56pm - health - by fatty milkshakes - United States

Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML

#20484951
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26227) - you deserved it (3156) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by jay ze punk - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

#20483320
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44166) - you deserved it (5801) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

#20482822
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28503) - you deserved it (3548)

On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

#20482645
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24733) - you deserved it (3097)

On 01/28/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Creeped out (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32920) - you deserved it (2107)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

#20481657
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36761) - you deserved it (7573)

On 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

#20480979
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39355) - you deserved it (9406)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:10am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

#20480699
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31635) - you deserved it (3293)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:57am - love - by pdub523 - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML

#20480667
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28932) - you deserved it (16491)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:38am - misc - by LucidNightmare - United States (Colorado)

Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML

#20480168
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43815) - you deserved it (4532)

On 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by movingout - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML

#20478664
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42675) - you deserved it (2350)

On 01/25/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by protoplasm stole my seat (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, my daughter tried to cover up her relapse into pyromania by explaining to me that the reason our carpet caught on fire was because a hot coal somehow worked its way free from the fireplace. Our fireplace is electric. FML

#20478067
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25859) - you deserved it (2133)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

#20472773
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26484) - you deserved it (2325)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:14am - work - by Job Seeking (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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