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dancinwookie

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dancinwookie

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 February 1984 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5432
  • Number of comments : 244
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About dancinwookie : I'm a walking non-sequitur. I try to spread sunshine, so, please, don't piss on my parade. You can message me, but it might take me a little bit to respond. I love rainbows more than I can verbally express. Sometimes I give just the absolute worst advice on here, because the outcome that is playing in my head is beyond ridiculously funny. My humor is imagination based.

dancinwookie's page activity

Visits<b>anothemy</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 7:01pm<b>Nate_mourar</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 8:11pm<b>flowerfliff</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 5:39pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 5:32pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 3:55pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 11:47am<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 12:09pm<b>lunar_star</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 9:09am<b>driftlobster</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 2:08am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 4:26pm<b>kaya1001</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 3:36pm<b>nunchux88</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 7:07am<b>MiracleJuice</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 6:26am<b>noobsatin</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 3:10am<b>TheNiceOne</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 10:16pm<b>FaultInMyStars</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 5:56pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 4:53pm<b>illegalbeagle69</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 3:27pm

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dancinwookie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML

#20523003
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25959) - you deserved it (9213)

On 02/26/2013 at 1:09pm - animals - by Puppylove (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML

#20522701
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30926) - you deserved it (3342)

On 02/26/2013 at 3:21am - health - by Brook (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML

#20522482
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53529) - you deserved it (3903)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)

Today, at my mother's funeral, as everyone was around her casket for the viewing, my 5-year-old son in cluelessness of what was going on shouted, "Grandma is more fun when she isn't sleeping." Everyone cried. FML

#20521929
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40910) - you deserved it (3395)

On 02/25/2013 at 6:00pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

#20521872
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54991) - you deserved it (4418) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML

#20521590
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44500) - you deserved it (7265)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend of three years told me he was thinking about us taking a break. After an hour of crying and him saying it would be okay, I accepted it. When I asked when the break would start, he replied, "What are you talking about? I only said I'd thought about it" and then laughed. FML

#20521204
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36358) - you deserved it (6662)

On 02/25/2013 at 1:10am - love - by Gullible (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off for an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML

#20520338
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36148) - you deserved it (7984)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML

#20519764
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31865) - you deserved it (3489)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by cls_x (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend kicked me out and threatened to get a restraining order after I called him an asshole. I'm 16 weeks pregnant and over 1,000 miles away from my parents' house. FML

#20519336
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36818) - you deserved it (8238)

On 02/23/2013 at 8:47pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, after supporting my girlfriend for over a year in her endeavour to lose weight, exercise more, and eat better, my now-slender girlfriend dumped me. Because now she find someone better than me. FML

#20518428
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45321) - you deserved it (3830)

On 02/23/2013 at 3:07am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after being together for only 2 weeks, my boyfriend got me a year's gym membership for my birthday in a card that said, "So u can b hott! Luv u!" FML

#20513755
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28235) - you deserved it (5502)

On 02/19/2013 at 5:47pm - love - by katwingz (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her for the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML

#20511747
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44933) - you deserved it (4989)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while at church, I received a text from my girlfriend, saying, "It's not working. We're over." Not only was my phone not on silent mode, I was sitting directly beside my now ex-girlfriend. FML

#20511071
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32384) - you deserved it (3946)

On 02/17/2013 at 5:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Hungary (Szeged)

Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML

#20509329
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31862) - you deserved it (5445)

On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)



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