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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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damnyoufork

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damnyoufork
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  • Number of visits : 160
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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damnyoufork's favorite FMLs

Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML

#2427571 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (6246) - you deserved it (46678)

On 05/30/2009 at 8:48am - kids - by Jess (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was taking the subway to work when I saw a really hot girl. Noticing that she, like me, had a Dunkin' Donuts coffee, I tried to start a conversation by saying, "Is that Double Ds you have there?" She didn't pick up that I was talking about the coffee. FML

#1466459 (318)

I agree, your life sucks (13824) - you deserved it (66770)

On 04/29/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was ringing up a lady and her daughter at the shoe store I work at. The background on my nametag is a rainbow, and when the daughter saw it, she asked her mother why it was so. Her mother looks at my nametag, then me, then turns to her daughter and says "Because he hates God honey". FML

#827000 (219)

I agree, your life sucks (55173) - you deserved it (3148)

On 04/05/2009 at 11:14pm - work - by maconda99 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while taking a test, I heard a buzzing in my purse. Thinking it was my cell phone vibrating, I nudged the purse under my desk, but the sound only got louder. My teacher, who has a strict no-cell policy, walked over to remove the phone from my bag. She pulled out my vibrator instead. FML

#792357 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (14571) - you deserved it (62980)

On 04/03/2009 at 11:07pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

#415809 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (81740) - you deserved it (35232)

On 03/17/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by MrAwsum (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after class, my teacher pulled me aside and said "You know, I never received the e-mail regarding your disabilities that your parents mentioned. Could you have them resend it?" What disabilities? FML

#85475 (33)

I agree, your life sucks (39353) - you deserved it (1573)

On 02/20/2009 at 1:16am - work - by Jedi (woman) - United States (California)