dalsegno

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dalsegno

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1948
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dalsegno's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 5:04pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:18pm<b>ha</b> - the 03/26/2010 at 12:44pm<b>RuffRider022</b> - the 03/26/2010 at 6:51am<b>Noori</b> - the 03/25/2010 at 12:38pm<b>PplMakeMistakes</b> - the 03/24/2010 at 9:44pm<b>highonlife2213</b> - the 02/25/2010 at 6:58pm<b>JustSoLost</b> - the 01/26/2010 at 1:52am<b>xoryleexo</b> - the 01/03/2010 at 11:46pm<b>defualt93</b> - the 01/02/2010 at 8:40pm<b>BaBiiSpAnKy821</b> - the 12/05/2009 at 2:20am<b>nightmirr</b> - the 11/01/2009 at 2:15pm<b>drainyou123</b> - the 10/30/2009 at 12:27am<b>depinaariana</b> - the 10/27/2009 at 12:29am<b>ezycaa</b> - the 10/24/2009 at 7:29am<b>sexymessy</b> - the 10/24/2009 at 4:30am<b>craigahh</b> - the 10/23/2009 at 11:47pm<b>myshatteredview</b> - the 10/22/2009 at 9:38pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 10:30pm

dalsegno's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

dalsegno's favorite FMLs

Today, it was the first day of astronomy class and we all waited for the professor to enter the classroom. All of a sudden, someone turns the lights off, it's pitch black, and we hear the professor saying, "Greetings earthlings..." It's going to be a long semester. FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2010 at 2:04am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

by anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 10:49am / United States / Geek

Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML

by smellsgood / 03/13/2010 at 2:32pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my three year old nephew was pointing at the TV screen and saying "Uncle, Uncle!" He thought it was me on the screen. It was Rosie O'Donnell. FML

by raidered / 03/08/2010 at 1:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML

by artsmart1 / 03/05/2010 at 7:40pm / United States / Health

Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2010 at 7:54am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML

by Catois / 03/05/2010 at 12:17am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at taekwondo practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear". He did this in front of all my classmates. FML

by GoDiarrhea / 03/04/2010 at 1:52pm / Argentina (Distrito Federal) / Health

Today, I realized explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the alter while my husband said his vows. FML

by pain / 02/26/2010 at 5:23am / Japan / Love

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

by Dog fart / 02/13/2010 at 11:08am / United States / Animals

Today, I told my girlfriend's father that I wanted to talk about his daughter. I then went on to tell him I was thinking about 'popping the cherry', instead of 'popping the question'. FML

by stoopidpoop / 02/04/2010 at 7:29pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my friend decided to pants me in the middle of the mall. I wasn't wearing underwear. FML

by Jac / 01/17/2010 at 2:59pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the local theatre watching "The Nutcracker" ballet with my mother. When the prince made his appearance in his tights my mother leans over to me and says, "Those are some well defined butt cheeks!" loud enough for everyone around us to hear. FML

by Tights2Tight / 12/19/2009 at 2:29am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I looked at my house in Google Street View for the first time and noticed an unfamiliar vehicle in the driveway. When I asked my wife about it, she admitted to have an ongoing affair. Apparently the entire world knew my wife was having an affair before I did. FML

by cheaters_should_die / 12/18/2009 at 9:31am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I came home to find my room completely torn apart. My mom and dad start yelling at me asking me why I am doing drugs because she found a tiny baggie on the floor. It was the little bag that spare buttons come in when you buy a dress shirt. FML

by Theo / 12/18/2009 at 1:52am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous