Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dalsegno

Search for a member

dalsegno

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1464
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

dalsegno's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:18pm<b>ha</b> - the 03/26/2010 at 12:44pm<b>RuffRider022</b> - the 03/26/2010 at 6:51am<b>Noori</b> - the 03/25/2010 at 12:38pm<b>PplMakeMistakes</b> - the 03/24/2010 at 9:44pm<b>highonlife2213</b> - the 02/25/2010 at 6:58pm<b>JustSoLost</b> - the 01/26/2010 at 1:52am<b>xoryleexo</b> - the 01/03/2010 at 11:46pm<b>defualt93</b> - the 01/02/2010 at 8:40pm<b>BaBiiSpAnKy821</b> - the 12/05/2009 at 2:20am<b>nightmirr</b> - the 11/01/2009 at 2:15pm<b>drainyou123</b> - the 10/30/2009 at 12:27am<b>depinaariana</b> - the 10/27/2009 at 12:29am<b>ezycaa</b> - the 10/24/2009 at 7:29am<b>sexymessy</b> - the 10/24/2009 at 4:30am<b>craigahh</b> - the 10/23/2009 at 11:47pm<b>myshatteredview</b> - the 10/22/2009 at 9:38pm<b>CloudEnvy</b> - the 10/22/2009 at 6:19am

dalsegno's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

dalsegno's favorite FMLs

Today, it was the first day of astronomy class and we all waited for the professor to enter the classroom. All of a sudden, someone turns the lights off, it's pitch black, and we hear the professor saying, "Greetings earthlings..." It's going to be a long semester. FML

#13070220
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21589) - you deserved it (17842)

On 09/16/2010 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

#9070560
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23671) - you deserved it (10014)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML

#9048258
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22107) - you deserved it (9788)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by smellsgood (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my three year old nephew was pointing at the TV screen and saying "Uncle, Uncle!" He thought it was me on the screen. It was Rosie O'Donnell. FML

#8911500
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25108) - you deserved it (3569)

On 03/08/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by raidered - United States (California)

Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML

#8851700
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22860) - you deserved it (2410)

On 03/05/2010 at 7:40pm - health - by artsmart1 - United States

Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML

#8841387
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35607) - you deserved it (3084)

On 03/05/2010 at 7:54am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML

#8837524
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20464) - you deserved it (11272)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:17am - animals - by Catois (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at taekwondo practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear". He did this in front of all my classmates. FML

#8823519
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22891) - you deserved it (2379)

On 03/04/2010 at 1:52pm - health - by GoDiarrhea (woman) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, I realized explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the alter while my husband said his vows. FML

#8658648
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53435) - you deserved it (2770)

On 02/26/2010 at 5:23am - love - by pain (woman) - Japan

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37304) - you deserved it (3314)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend's father that I wanted to talk about his daughter. I then went on to tell him I was thinking about 'popping the cherry', instead of 'popping the question'. FML

#7883509
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19341) - you deserved it (11291)

On 02/04/2010 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by stoopidpoop (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend decided to pants me in the middle of the mall. I wasn't wearing underwear. FML

#7400225
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16846) - you deserved it (28323)

On 01/17/2010 at 2:59pm - misc - by Jac (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at the local theatre watching "The Nutcracker" ballet with my mother. When the prince made his appearance in his tights my mother leans over to me and says, "Those are some well defined butt cheeks!" loud enough for everyone around us to hear. FML

#6823422
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21830) - you deserved it (2769)

On 12/19/2009 at 2:29am - misc - by Tights2Tight - United States (Ohio)

Today, I looked at my house in Google Street View for the first time and noticed an unfamiliar vehicle in the driveway. When I asked my wife about it, she admitted to have an ongoing affair. Apparently the entire world knew my wife was having an affair before I did. FML

#6808651
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37110) - you deserved it (2521)

On 12/18/2009 at 9:31am - love - by cheaters_should_die (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came home to find my room completely torn apart. My mom and dad start yelling at me asking me why I am doing drugs because she found a tiny baggie on the floor. It was the little bag that spare buttons come in when you buy a dress shirt. FML

#6805892
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30765) - you deserved it (1816)

On 12/18/2009 at 1:52am - misc - by Theo (man) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: