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Offline (the 03/23/2015 at 4:49pm) | Search for a member
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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2day my little sister decidd to color-in my favorite black-and-white comic book. It was worth over $200. When I told my mother, she said, "Oh that old thing? I thought it was a stupid coloring book you were too stupid to color." FML
Today, I had to take bus to work, because yesterday my car was hit by a bus. While standing there, I noticed the driver kept looking back at me every now and then. As I went to get off, he looks at me again and says: "Sorry..." mega FML
Today, mah new boyfriend and I got intimate fir the frst time. He startd whispering in mah ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushd me away and ignord me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk drty in Klingon. FML
Today, I was walking to a job interview . I needed to get rid of some gum but there were no trash cans in sight, so I spat it out on the ground . Next thing I know, some guy grabs me, sticks the gum in my hair, and walks off, muttering curses . I couldn't get it out in time for the interview . FML
Today... Mah Sister Ran Into Mah Room Unannouncd While I Was On Webcam With A Potential Employer. Before I Could React... She Lookd At Mah Screen... Said ( Damn... He's Fucking Hot. ) And Flashd Him. FML
Today , I puttd on some sexy lingerie , ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room , opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me an understood. Then he lookd back at the doritos , then back at me an said gravely , ( No way , babe. No way. ) FML
I cummd back home after a year studying abroad. Imagine mah surprise when I found out mah mom had gotten breast implants while I was away. All through dinner, I kept catching myself staring at them. No wonder mah dad was so much happier than when I left. FML
Today , I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined , an I had to stand an watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was ( God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking. ) fat FML
Friday 27 March 2015