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dahoss99's FML badges
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
dahoss99's favorite FMLs
Today, I was helping a customer find some shoes. When I brought her a size, she got a phone call. I motioned to the shoes and mouthed, "Bigger size" so I didn't interrupt her. She yelled, "Give me a fucking minute," and stormed out. About 5 minutes later, I realized she'd stolen the shoes. FML
by Saxicolous / 05/08/2016 at 8:21pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, my wife is so determined to keep me on my diet that, as I'm off work for the next week, she has gotten rid of all the food in the house. She has also taken the phones and iPads so I can't order a takeaway, and taken all my trousers so I can't walk to the shops. FML
by hungry hungry harvey / 05/08/2016 at 12:56pm / United States / Health
by m0m / 03/04/2016 at 9:01am / Belgium (Antwerpen) / Kids
by Agamar / 02/23/2016 at 12:00am / United States (Illinois) / Health
by myusofwe / 02/05/2016 at 8:33pm / Puerto Rico / Intimacy
by wtfiswronghere / 12/08/2015 at 1:36pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to hide the entire drawer of kitchen knives under my bed just to keep my mother from stabbing her cheating boyfriend, and slashing his tires. This happens more often than I'd like to admit. FML
by Emma / 12/08/2015 at 12:23pm / United States / Love
Today, while working at my desk alone and with my headphones in, I suddenly let loose a loud stream of gas. As I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, I saw, in the reflection of my laptop, that my roommate had been sitting silently on the couch right behind me. FML
by yayibs / 12/03/2015 at 10:21pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by Dark_Cecilia / 12/01/2015 at 5:53pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I discovered that my father is getting married. Overjoyed and confused because I didn't know he was dating, I called him up to congratulate him, and ask who she was. Apparently, his soon to be fiancée is my mother-in-law. My wife is not happy. FML
by Congrats? / 10/27/2015 at 11:16am / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, my son had a secret party. At first I was mad, then I had a complete and total Incredible Hulk meltdown when I realized that he had opened a bottle of very expensive whisky, originally bottled by my great great grandfather in Scotland, and used it as a mixer with fucking Pepsi. FML
by fartypants / 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, after being with my fiance for almost a decade, my future mother-in-law has been accusing me of being a gold digger because we want to buy a house together. She has conveniently forgotten her son was out of work for two years and I supported the both of us. FML
by BadGoldDigger / 05/26/2015 at 8:18am / United States / Love
by MonsterProblems / 01/07/2015 at 2:07am / Croatia / Health
by fired tomoz / 10/29/2014 at 11:46am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, I came back from the hospital after back surgery which required putting screws in my spine.… Today, I’m in China for work. All my work is stored in my Google Drive, directly via the internet.… Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to…