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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 September 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 965
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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dahoss99's page activity

Visits<b>Toonice45</b> - the 09/28/2016 at 7:36pm<b>FujisakiChihiro</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 6:59pm<b>kdgsmiley</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 1:15pm<b>Opsimath</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 12:22pm<b>Bquillero16</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 10:28pm<b>michu</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 1:29pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 10:43am<b>sugacube</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 9:23am<b>mario_di_fonzo</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 11:15pm<b>wolfstar126</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 10:26pm<b>spicypie</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 8:09pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 7:55pm<b>wow2mylife</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 7:09pm<b>ciaraash</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 5:36pm<b>PopBlox</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 5:11pm<b>Skycop_S</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 4:05pm<b>ImNotAnAlien</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 3:31pm<b>stereomommy</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 1:46pm

Fucked!<b>Toonice45</b> - the 09/29/2016 at 1:36am<b>PikachuTaylor</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 9:17pm

dahoss99's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of dahoss99's badges

dahoss99's favorite FMLs

Today, I was helping a customer find some shoes. When I brought her a size, she got a phone call. I motioned to the shoes and mouthed, "Bigger size" so I didn't interrupt her. She yelled, "Give me a fucking minute," and stormed out. About 5 minutes later, I realized she'd stolen the shoes. FML

by Saxicolous / 05/08/2016 at 8:21pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my wife is so determined to keep me on my diet that, as I'm off work for the next week, she has gotten rid of all the food in the house. She has also taken the phones and iPads so I can't order a takeaway, and taken all my trousers so I can't walk to the shops. FML

by hungry hungry harvey / 05/08/2016 at 12:56pm / United States / Health

Today, I had to explain to my 27 year-old sister why a stainless steel fork isn't a good toy for my 8 month-old baby. Twice. FML

by m0m / 03/04/2016 at 9:01am / Belgium (Antwerpen) / Kids

Today, I was so sleep deprived that while making instant oatmeal, I poured the oats into the garbage and put the empty packet in a bowl, then microwaved it for 2 minutes. FML

by Agamar / 02/23/2016 at 12:00am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with the guy I like. He couldn't get it up and awkwardly tried to stick his limp penis in. FML

by myusofwe / 02/05/2016 at 8:33pm / Puerto Rico / Intimacy

Today, my grandmother insisted that Mexicans sacrifice humans every year as part of their Catholic religion. The Swaggart guy on TV said so, and apparently, he can't be wrong, ever. FML

by wtfiswronghere / 12/08/2015 at 1:36pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to hide the entire drawer of kitchen knives under my bed just to keep my mother from stabbing her cheating boyfriend, and slashing his tires. This happens more often than I'd like to admit. FML

by Emma / 12/08/2015 at 12:23pm / United States / Love

Today, while working at my desk alone and with my headphones in, I suddenly let loose a loud stream of gas. As I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, I saw, in the reflection of my laptop, that my roommate had been sitting silently on the couch right behind me. FML

by yayibs / 12/03/2015 at 10:21pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I called the cops on this guy who kept emailing me without revealing who he was. I had told him that if he emailed me again, I would call the cops, so I did. Turns out it was my roommate. FML

by Dark_Cecilia / 12/01/2015 at 5:53pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that my father is getting married. Overjoyed and confused because I didn't know he was dating, I called him up to congratulate him, and ask who she was. Apparently, his soon to be fiancée is my mother-in-law. My wife is not happy. FML

by Congrats? / 10/27/2015 at 11:16am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my son had a secret party. At first I was mad, then I had a complete and total Incredible Hulk meltdown when I realized that he had opened a bottle of very expensive whisky, originally bottled by my great great grandfather in Scotland, and used it as a mixer with fucking Pepsi. FML

by Angus / 09/17/2015 at 3:48pm / France / Kids

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML

by fartypants / 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, after being with my fiance for almost a decade, my future mother-in-law has been accusing me of being a gold digger because we want to buy a house together. She has conveniently forgotten her son was out of work for two years and I supported the both of us. FML

by BadGoldDigger / 05/26/2015 at 8:18am / United States / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had a sneeze attack while my nose was bleeding. Now my living room looks like a crime scene. FML

by MonsterProblems / 01/07/2015 at 2:07am / Croatia / Health

Today, I woke up to a text from my manager, saying "Hed's up dude, ur gettin fired tomoz. CEO's pissed. No hard feelins m8". Great. FML

by fired tomoz / 10/29/2014 at 11:46am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Work