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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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daffit01

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daffit01
  • Town/Country : Nieuwegein, Holland
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 2 September 1970 (41 years)
  • Number of visits : 209
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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daffit01's favorite FMLs

Today, I had my wisdom teeth removed. The sympathetic words from my boyfriend asked if this meant I could open my mouth a bit wider for him now. FML

#9158778 (195)

I agree, your life sucks (16958) - you deserved it (3826)

On 03/17/2010 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by smiler (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML

#9143571 (236)

I agree, your life sucks (29555) - you deserved it (2097)

On 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm - misc - by disturbed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I started hooking up with a guy I've liked for a while. We got pretty into it and he went into my underwear, looking confused. When I asked him what was wrong, his response was: "I can't find it." FML

#9094642 (233)

I agree, your life sucks (18206) - you deserved it (3034)

On 03/15/2010 at 1:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML

#7227808 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (7123) - you deserved it (26586)

On 01/09/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by squirrel (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was working a haunted house. I have a really good spot where I hide and scare people. This really hot guy was walking up, and I jumped out and screamed. He punched me in the face. FML

#5964680 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (23904) - you deserved it (4880)

On 10/23/2009 at 8:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was playing hide and seek with my eight year old cousin. For the past two turns, he had been hiding in the bathroom. I saw the bathroom lights on, yet again, and opened the door with a triumphant "AHA!" It was my Grandma, taking a smelly dump. FML

#5424247 (69)

I agree, your life sucks (12163) - you deserved it (24583)

On 09/23/2009 at 6:23am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML

#5168083 (219)

I agree, your life sucks (24712) - you deserved it (5341)

On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML

#5002532 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (31916) - you deserved it (13065)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by boytoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML

#4696975 (221)

I agree, your life sucks (48559) - you deserved it (2357)

On 08/21/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML

#859604 (248)

I agree, your life sucks (56671) - you deserved it (138530)

On 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)



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