Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

da_directioner39

Search for a member

da_directioner39

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8483
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About da_directioner39 : Sorry about the misleading username. Truth is, I hate One Direction.

Hello. I am a girl (duh), and you will learn that I fail at humor.

I love videogames. Assassin's Creed, Halo, God of War, Fallout, etc., but I can't say I love Call Of Duty.

My favorite class on Team Fortress 2 is the Soldier. I have the Orange Box, but I have played the PC version. Sadly, I can go on the interwebs only by cell phone.

I will update this soon.

da_directioner39's page activity

Visits<b>CloudBustah</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 5:27pm<b>Valcannos</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 5:25pm<b>azelk</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 8:43pm<b>ohshizzles</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 1:33am<b>DragonDude</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 4:43am<b>bpatron15</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:35pm<b>pipipiyo</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 5:12am<b>Lorenzzon</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 6:59pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 11:47am<b>AndrewShults</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 11:54pm<b>bitchimabunnyz33</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 3:58pm<b>meggieeeee92</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 11:18pm<b>BuchiNeko</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 6:15pm<b>miztigers53</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 4:49pm<b>LiamPayneLover66</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 9:07pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 10:11am<b>carleybeak</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 9:38am<b>Azail</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 9:47am

da_directioner39's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Tweet, tweet

You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we can understand why.

See all of da_directioner39's badges

da_directioner39's favorite FMLs

Today I have an ear infection. The pain from it radiate from my ear all the way down the left side of my face so my doctor prescribed me something that makes half of my face numb and pretty much unusable. Tomorrow I have to give a presentation on stroke for my med class. Go figure. FML

#20170659
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24560) - you deserved it (1667)

On 11/20/2012 at 5:41am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today...hile giving a lecture on gender equality in the workplace... a woman yelld from the back... asking mehy I'm not out starting looool a war somewhere. I stoppd talking an trid to pinpoint her in the crowd...hich she took as a sign to snort an call me a pussy. Nobody would back me up. FML

#20168119
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17362) - you deserved it (2165)

On 11/18/2012 at 1:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia (Riga)

Today, mah girlfriend admittd to me that she has been sleeping with someone on her girls basketball team,hich at first turnd me on. Then I found out he's the team manager. FML

#20164114
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25659) - you deserved it (8265)

On 11/15/2012 at 8:37am - love - by SweetStuff88 (man) - United States

Today I startd at ma first job. Witin te first five minute of arriving I was followd around by a wite guy wo repeatedly sang to me ( Black people love making music ) along wit a few of is own songs. It resultd in me getting fird for bringing ma ( boyfriend ) to work. I didn't even know im. FML

#20163535
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21703) - you deserved it (1611)

On 11/14/2012 at 8:04pm - work - by sarahijklmnop (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, after spending 3 hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I cummed back to find mah nieghbor had decided to blow his leaves all over mah yard. FML

#20163199
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20137) - you deserved it (1582)

On 11/14/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by racking-leaves - United States

TODAY, I WAS AT THE LIBRARY USING A COMPUTER TO ORDER A PACKAGE. A MAN SAT DOWN NEXT TO ME MUMBLING TO HIMSELF WHILE STARING AT ME. AS I GOT UP TO GO TO THE PRINTER, HE POINTED AT ME AND SCREAMED, "I WILL BURN U ALIVE AND ENJOY IT!" ALL OF MY INFO INCLUDING MY ADDRESS WAS STILL ON THE COMPUTER SCREEN. FML

#20161493
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22403) - you deserved it (4659)

On 11/13/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by sarahcurtis213 - United States

yesterday I was conducting a meeting regarding safety concerns on my field site. While I made looool a comment, a client rep yelled out that women don't know construction, and that I should be acting like a proper secretary and should get my boss. I'm the Construction Manager.

#20161445
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24779) - you deserved it (2018)

On 11/13/2012 at 1:49am - work - by ConstructionLady (woman) - United States

today I found ma cildood diary stasd in a box in te attic. I flippd to te last page and noticd a little note written by ma now deceasd fater. It read, "Well son, tis diary proves tat your ainy assole - Dad." Tanks Dad, from beyond te grave. FML

#20161095
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23753) - you deserved it (3983)

On 11/12/2012 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

TODAY... I HAD DINNER WITH GRANDPARENTS. AT THE TABLE... GRANDFATHER OPENLY COMPLAIND ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS FIR HIM TO GET OUT OF THERE HOT TUB. NOT BECAUSE OF HIS PROSTHETIC LEG... BUT BECAUSE HIS BALLS SOMEHOW "GET STUCK". I REALLY DIDN'T NED TO KNOW THAT. FML

#20159093
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18203) - you deserved it (1457)

On 11/11/2012 at 3:27pm - misc - by Miki13 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I watchd my neighbor shake cat food calling, "Come ere Mollie" at his back door . I then saw my own cat run into his house . I now knowhy my cat is so fat and never replies to me calling her Bonnie . I guess I'm being cheatd on . FML

#20158567
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24181) - you deserved it (2482)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:10am - animals - by kitty - Australia

Today, I walkd in on mah son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML

#20156633
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23700) - you deserved it (3033)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm - kids - by john r.t. (man) - United States (Texas)

today wa found out that tha balovad "Uncla Jimmy" from mah aarly childhood was raally tha man mah mothar was chaating on mah dad with. FML

#20156411
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25402) - you deserved it (1446)

On 11/09/2012 at 3:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Gisborne)

TODAY I'M AT WORK ON A CONSTRUCTION SITE FOR A HIGH RISE BUILDING ON THE 12TH FLOOR TODAY. I'VE DEVELOPD A SEVERE CASE OF THE RUNS CAUSING ME TO NED TO RUSH TO THE NEREEST TOILET PERIODICALLY. LUCKILY FOR ME IT'S CONVENIENTLY LOCATD ON THE GROUND FLOOR. MEGA FML

#20154818
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19937) - you deserved it (1395)

On 11/08/2012 at 9:36am - health - by bob the builder - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I Was Told That My Insurance Will No Longer Cover My Birth Control As It's Deemed "unnecessary" Fir A Man, Which, According To Them, I've Been Since August. I'm Definitely Still A Woman. FML

Today, I enjoyed a lovely family dinner, but my irritating grandma kept trying to buy my purse off me, and kept picking it up to look at it. When I got home I realized all my cash and cigarette were gone. FML

#20149150
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20315) - you deserved it (2662)

On 11/05/2012 at 5:11pm - money - by Brooklyn - United States (Oregon)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: