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da_directioner39

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da_directioner39
  • Town/Country : 'Murica
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 523
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About da_directioner39 : Sorry about the misleading username. Truth is, I hate One Direction.

Hello. I am a girl (duh), and you will learn that I fail at humor.

I love videogames. Assassin's Creed, Halo, God of War, Fallout, etc., but I can't say I love Call Of Duty.

My favorite class on Team Fortress 2 is the Soldier. I have the Orange Box, but I have played the PC version. Sadly, I can go on the interwebs only by cell phone.

I will update this soon.

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Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

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da_directioner39's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend admitted to me that she has been sleeping with someone on her girls basketball team, which at first turned me on. Then I found out he's the team manager. FML

#20164114
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18652) - you deserved it (5850)

On 11/15/2012 at 8:37am - love - by SweetStuff88 (man) - United States

Today, I was at the library using a computer to order a package. A man sat down next to me mumbling to himself while staring at me. As I got up to go to the printer, he pointed at me and screamed, "I will burn you alive and enjoy it!" All of my info including my address was still on the computer screen. FML

#20161493
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16891) - you deserved it (3274)

On 11/13/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by sarahcurtis213 - United States

Today, I was conducting a meeting regarding safety concerns on my field site. While I made a comment, a client rep yelled out that women don't know construction, and that I should be acting like a proper secretary and should get my boss. I'm the Construction Manager. FML

#20161445
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18815) - you deserved it (1341)

On 11/13/2012 at 1:49am - work - by ConstructionLady (woman) - United States

Today, I found my childhood diary stashed in a box in the attic. I flipped to the last page and noticed a little note written by my now deceased father. It read, "Well son, this diary proves that you're a whiny asshole - Dad." Thanks Dad, from beyond the grave. FML

#20161095
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17582) - you deserved it (3277)

On 11/12/2012 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I had dinner with my grandparents. At the table, my grandfather openly complained about how hard it is for him to get out of their hot tub. Not because of his prosthetic leg, but because his balls somehow "get stuck". I really didn't need to know that. FML

#20159093
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12300) - you deserved it (840)

On 11/11/2012 at 3:27pm - misc - by Miki13 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I watched my neighbor shake cat food calling, "Come here Mollie" at his back door. I then saw my own cat run into his house. I now know why my cat is so fat and never replies to me calling her Bonnie. I guess I'm being cheated on. FML

#20158567
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17121) - you deserved it (1662)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:10am - animals - by kitty - Australia

Today, I'm at work on a construction site for a high rise building, on the 12th floor today. I've developed a severe case of the runs, causing me to need to rush to the nearest toilet periodically. Luckily for me it's conveniently located on the ground floor. FML

#20154818
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14032) - you deserved it (821)

On 11/08/2012 at 9:36am - health - by bob the builder - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was told that my insurance will no longer cover my birth control as it's deemed "unnecessary" for a man, which, according to them, I've been since August. I'm definitely still a woman. FML

Today, I enjoyed a lovely family dinner, but my irritating grandma kept trying to buy my purse off me, and kept picking it up to look at it. When I got home I realized all my cash and cigarettes were gone. FML

#20149150
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14695) - you deserved it (1705)

On 11/05/2012 at 5:11pm - money - by Brooklyn - United States (Oregon)

Today, I gave a big presentation at work, hoping to impress my boss and angle for a promotion. I was already nervous, but a co-worker at the back kept making goofy faces, causing me to repeatedly break into laughter. My boss accused me of being high, and suspended me on the spot. FML

#20144868
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14126) - you deserved it (2280)

On 11/02/2012 at 8:23pm - work - by YOUFUCKINGFUCKSOCK (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

#20139353
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18469) - you deserved it (1558)

On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mom called me an asshole. She was embarrassed when she saw that a visiting family member had overheard, and tried to cover it up with, "Honey, you are a casserole! You are just delicious, any guy is gonna want you sweetie!" She honestly thought this would work. FML

#20133203
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18553) - you deserved it (1227)

On 10/25/2012 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Agirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, despite my pain, my mom still refuses to take me to a foot doctor because, "They all have foot fetishes." FML

#20132061
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14455) - you deserved it (783)

On 10/24/2012 at 10:44pm - health - by illjustlimpthen (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I realized I'm so desperate for money that I started to watch Breaking Bad to learn how to make meth. I stopped, not because I decided it was a bad idea, but because it looks too hard. FML

#20130198
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5517) - you deserved it (15222)

On 10/23/2012 at 6:47pm - money - by Yo Mr. White! ... BETCH! - United States (California)

Today, I was walking with my boyfriend when a guy walked up to me and told me I look exactly like Taylor Swift. My boyfriend punched him in the face and told him that Taylor Swift is a lot more attractive. I'm actually considering leaving him for the complete stranger. FML

#20130143
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24353) - you deserved it (1834)

On 10/23/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by jeanrose2013 - United States (Arkansas)



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